How do you help your best friend cope if their brother died?

Answer 1

• Although your heart is in the right place and it is difficult to see your friend suffer because of the loss of their brother you should know that grieving is a process every individual will have to go through at sometime in their life. The person grieving misses the deceased; they often wonder why that person died and why them; there is a breaking of the heart and anguish and then some anger sets in where the person may blame God or even their own brother for dying. After that things begin to balance out and although your friend will always have their brother in their heart and remember the good memories they had they will heal and move on in life eventually. Remember also that it is not just your friend who is hurting, but the whole family. The only thing you can do is listen to your friend and let them get their sadness and possibly frustrations out. Listen; hug them and don't tell them you know how they feel because most of the time none of us knows how another individual feels when they have lost a loved one. Have quiet times together and when the time is right you will know and you can both go out and try to have a little fun, but don't be disappointed if your friend doesn't care to have fun. Eventually it will come, but, in time what you have to do is gently prod your friend to get back out in the world. After a few months of grieving (each individual grieves at their own pace) you might ask your friend this question ... 'Now what do you think your brother would say if he were here right now seeing you like this?' The first response maybe, 'Well, he isn't here and he's never going to be here so it doesn't matter.' Tell them it does matter and to reach back to those memories they had with their brother and remember some of the things their brother said. Let your friend know that for the love of their brother they have learned from their brother so it is important to move on in life and pass the torch of kindness and wisdom their brother showed to their live sibling. We all carry the torch of those that we have loved and lost because it keeps their memory alive and who and what they were and that they did exist on this earth. I love this quote 'for each person leaves an imprint on another.' Generally the 'imprint' is good and it means we learn the good things from each other and it leaves an imprint in our hearts and minds. You are a dear and good friend and your friend is very lucky to have you.