How can you tell if your 3 year old son will turn out gay?

Answer 1

If you suspect it, it's likely he is: but you have to wait for him to feel comfortable to tell you. He won't ever tell you if you seem like you'll have a problem with it, and if you do have a problem with it that will likely drive a wedge between your long-term relationship, so it's best to make sure that you provide a household in which your kids feel safe being different in whatever ways they may be different. Bear in mind also that being gay is inborn, not a choice, and the amount of time you refuse to accept this is the amount of time that the wedge between you and your gay child will continue to separate you.

Answer 2

There are two answers to this question.

The first is that it is impossible to know. There are many gays, including young ones, who are NOT obviously gay. They are the gay people that grow up, get educated and get jobs as doctors and bus drivers and nobody can tell they are gay.

Your not obvious child may drop you some hints about being gay, if they want to prepare you, or may leave material lying around for you to find (or maybe accidentally). This would be the only way you would know.

The second answer is that there are a number of gays who make it somewhat obvious that they are gay. Flamboyant gestures and speech mannerisms, even in the young, can sometimes be a sign, but again, there are men who appear gay like this, but, in fact, grow up to marry and have children without any obvious difficulties.

Answer 3

Looking for signs of 'feminine' activities, searching his room, spying on him or checking whether his fingernails are clean won't tell you whether he's gay.

You need to look at why you are suspicious of his personal life, why you need to 'find out' about it, and what you'll do with whatever you might learn.

Supposing you discover he is gay. What do you do now with that information? Confront him, or just keep on snooping and worrying? What is it that's worrying you? Is it his health or the sort of people he could be mixing with; is it what others might think? Those issues might concern you whatever his sexual preferences, so let's not make them specific to his sexual preferences. That's that out of the way, then. Worry if you must; discuss health, safety, peer pressure and the company he keeps by all means, but do it without constantly sliding your eyes round to the elephant in the room, the one with the big 'G' in neon on its forehead. And accept the possibility he won't listen to you anyway, many people, gay or straight, don't listen to their parents.

Supposing you discover he isn't gay. You can feel free to discuss health, safety, peer pressure and the company he keeps, without that big 'G' flashing in the background. Again, he possibly won't listen.

And there's always the chance that he's well aware of and perhaps uncomfortable about your snooping, and that you now have the task on your hands of repairing your relationship with your son and regaining his trust. This will be more difficult if you've been discussing your fears for him with friends and family, but even if you've been discreet you'll probably find at some stage you'll need to apologize for intruding into areas of his life, however gently, that you should have either openly discussed in the first place or simply left alone.

Maybe the best thing you can do is be grateful you have a son. If he's happy, healthy and loves you, give thanks every day for that. Regardless, try to find opportunities to tell him, in a non-threatening, non-judgemental and loving way that you're glad he's your son, that you love him and will always be there for him in good and bad, easy and difficult times, as you hope he'll be there for you.

Sometimes that's the very best a parent can do.

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Answer 4

You can't and should'nt even try. At this age he most probably does not understand the meaning of being gay yet. Let him progress through puberty and he will find out for himself as to what his orientation is. Then offer support and guidance if he needs or asks for it.

Answer 5

You wait. You can't. Why worry about something like this at such a young age anyway !

Answer 6

The only way to know is for him to tell you. There are no special signs.

Answer 7

10 is a little young to wonder about this. Give it some time.