It took me nearly six years to get out of my relationship with my ex-husband. He was incredibly abusive. The only way I've found that I've been able to successively keep myself away from my ex is to make sure I prosecuted him through the court system. I also got a full order of protection (aka restraining order) against him. I finally went through with my divorce. And, I called on all my friends and family for support. There are days I want to just walk right back into the entire situation, but I have to look at what it did to me. In the relationship, I lost myself. Once you rid yourself of an abusive husband, the most important thing is to find YOURSELF again. Once you find yourself, you will find the courage to stay out of his life.
Why do you want to? That's abusive to throw someone out. It's better for you and him!
---- Call the police, if the abuse continues, then leave him and never go back. ----
If you feel unsafe or unsure about going home, it may be best to seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or a local domestic violence hotline before making a decision. Your safety and well-being are the most important considerations in this situation. A professional can help you navigate the next steps and provide information about resources available to you.
I am sure that it would depend on the abusive ex-husband.
No, absolutely not.
Abusive or not, "his" belongings are his property and so in the eyes of the law they must go back to him. Anyway, if you tried to keep them, wouldn't that just make him MORE abusive?
You reach out for help, and you go.
If you have tried to talk your friend out of going back to her abusive boyfriend then you have done all you can as a trusted and loyal friend and this means your friend is a slow learner. Just let her learn the hard way and be there when she needs a shoulder to cry on the second time around and hopefully she will get the message by then. Young woman (woman of any age) will often want to go back to their abusive boyfriend or husband because they have low self esteem.
If your husband is verbally and emotionally abusive, you can break the negative cycle by seeking the services of a family counselor or filing for divorce.
If you can leave him - do it now.
People tend to say things in anger. Since your husband is abusive you should consider going to a Woman's Abuse House to find help and learn tools to cope. No one has the right to abuse the other. Your relationship is toxic and you are in control of your life and not your husband. To tell him you are going to kill him is a serious accusation and when you get to this point it's time for you to leave this abusive relationship.
The husband and wife should both go to individual therapy (not couple's counseling- that can be dangerous for someone in an abusive relationship) to help them deal with their separate issues. They can also each go to a different batterer's intervention course if they are willing.