How do you protect yourself from a narcissistic partner?

Answer 1

Here is some advice: * Being married to one, I find that the only way to deal with him is to make everything about him. If I want something for example, instead of saying "Honey I would really like this. May I get it?" I would approach him like this, "I think getting this would benefit you in ...." I would then pitch it to him as to what he would get out of it. I have gotten him to the point of my being able to buy any clothing or makeup I want because of how my appearance will reflect on him. This is only one example, but you just learn how to make your desires seem like they will benefit him. This is a hard way to live, but it is better than never getting what you want. If you choose to stay with him, this is the only way to get your needs, and especially your desires, met. * The best way to deal with a narcissist is to recognize your own narcissistic tendencies. When your own feeling of self-worth is dependant on what others think or feel about you, you are vulnerable to the narcissist's trap. He will make you feel so special for deserving his attention. Recognize your true value as an individual. Realize that no one can give you what you already have, your self! Get lots of support from friends and/or a good counsellor. Be strong and don't take any abuse. If the narcissist in your life is mean to you, be honest with yourself about that. Stop making excuses for him. It's better to be alone than to be trapped in someone else's delusions of grandeur. Yes, he will find some other weak person to feed his insatiable appetite for recognition, admiration and approval. Yes, it is painful to realize that that is all you ever were to him. But at least you can free yourself and your energies can go to self-healing and REAL relationships. Real relationships involve a balance of give and take. Real relationships are open to community. In real adult relationships, people are able to speak openly about all their feelings and give each other comfort. If the narcissist in your life is unable or unwilling to recognize that he has a real problem and needs help, get out! * My husband admits he's "a little narcissistic." He can be very controlling at times, and very concerned with appearances(especially physical). I've found two ways that usually work with dealing with his temper tantrums. I listen quietly while he gets on his soapbox, then later when he has cooled down, I will talk with him calmly about what I agree/disagree with. The second way is standing firm, particularly when it's something I feel very strongly about. He may get upset, but he always thinks about it. * Get as far away from them as you can. Hardcore narcissists are impossible to deal with. * I say try to go far, far away from a narcissist. They bring bring nothing but bad news and bad karma into whatever lives they touch. Be strong, stand tall, and run as fast as you can. * Try to have a safe haven, a place to avoid the abuse, and maintain control of your own person and your own life. Don't let the person drive you down with their unrealistic fantasies and how you need to adjust to make them happy. Make yourself happy and be happy with you, you don't owe someone a life or to make someone else happy. If there are no children involved, then get out of Dodge while you still can. * There is no dealing with a narcissist. I worked with one for two years and finally had to leave the department I worked in. * You cannot deal with them because they do not compromise. The best idea is to run the other direction. * If you're near them, you're the mirror if you give them the slightest attention to reflect back an image they have just created of themselves. Don't reflect back the image they have created. You can do this by ignoring them and not giving them attention.

Answer 2

The narcissist is a binary human being: the carrot is the stick in his case. If he gets too close to someone emotionally, he fears ultimate and inevitable abandonment. He, thus, distances himself, acts cruelly and brings about the very abandonment that he feared in the first place.

In this paradox lies the key to coping with the narcissist. If, for instance, he is having a rage attack -- rage back. This will provoke in him fears of being abandoned and the resulting calm will be so total that it might seem eerie. Narcissists are known for these sudden tectonic shifts in mood and in behaviour patterns.

Mirror the narcissist's actions and repeat his words. If he threatens -- threaten back and credibly try to use the same language and content. If he leaves the house -- leave it as well, disappear on him. If he is suspicious -- act suspicious. Be critical, denigrating, humiliating, go down to his level -- because that's the only way to penetrate his thick defences. Faced with his mirror image -- the narcissist always recoils.

The other coping strategy is to give up on him.

Abandon him and go about reconstructing your own life. Very few people deserve the kind of investment that is an absolute prerequisite to life with a narcissist. To cope with a narcissist is a full time, energy and emotion-draining job, which reduces people around the narcissist to insecure nervous wrecks. Who deserves such a sacrifice?

Point out what they are doing. They have pride and ego and the need to be seen as good people. They have to be in control and making the decisions. Stand up to them, don't flinch and say, "ok, let's get the daily beating and battering over with, because there's a show I want to watch on TV. Can you be done in say...10 minutes?" It takes all the fun out of it for them. It's not fun for them if you are not whimpering and helpless. Plus, they thought it was their decision to beat you, now that it's your decision, they are no longer interested. If you are in control, they just automatically do the opposite to show you who's really in control. Don't tell them what to do.

Answer 3

Call them on their lies and posturing. Do not argue or get excited. Remain completely calm and detached but make observations that let them know you can see right through them. Drives them nuts. Ignoring them also works great too since they need a source of sick supply and they hate to be ignored.

However, be warned: they will strike back in some blatant way when the opportunity arises.

Answer 4

Just live your own life and don't expect anything from them...if they are aggressive passive remember is not YOU is Them.....

Answer 5

detach emotionally and leave Or stay and agree and be his/her slave you have to choose

Answer 6

Wear protective gear and run!