How do you respond to a boyfriend who continues contact and keeps souvenirs from several past relationships?

Answer 1

There's nothing really wrong with keeping momentos from the past, or keeping in touch with people from past relationships -- it shows that your boyfriend is capable of civilized endings with people. It sounds like you don't want to emerse yourself in a world that consists of him and all his ex's. So the issue really is -- how do you cope? Talk about your feelings -- allow him "alone-time" so that he can stay connected with his friends -- set boundaries on how much of this time he can take away from you. But be open to the possibility that one or two of these ex's may be his best friends, and they are part of the package that you picked. As for the souvenirs -- he probably shouldn't be so forth coming about where they came from. We all have things from our past that we bring to the present. If you feel the issue is that he can't "let go" of the past, and this is interfering with the degree of intimacy you can achieve with him, then discuss it with him in these terms. Are you sure you are not jealous of his past? If you are, then it's really important to talk about these feelings, because jealousy can manifest in many ways. If you figure out what's triggering it, then you can better manage those feelings in the future.