How do you stay friends with benefits with a girl?

Answer 1

If she only wants to be friends with benefits -- if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend, and is completely happy to just be friends who hook up sometimes -- then there's nothing you need to do. If you both want the same thing, then you can just continue being friends with benefits until one of you gets into a relationship, or you just decide to call it quits.

But if she wants to be your girlfriend, then you either have to ask her to be your girlfriend, or call it quits. If she wants to be your girlfriend, then she will be very hurt if she thinks you only want to be friends with benefits. She will feel that you're telling her, "You're not good enough and special enough to be my girlfriend. You're only good enough to sleep with."

When women are in love with you, they need to know that you want them for more than just sex. It's extremely hurtful when you think a guy only wants to sleep with you. It means that he apparently doesn't find you to be fascinating and interesting and special. It means that he thinks you're beautiful and sexy, but that your personality is lacking.

That may not necessarily be the case; maybe he does think you're an amazing person, but he just doesn't feel that you're right for him. I don't fall in love with every attractive, intelligent, sweet and charming guy I meet. Sexual attraction is a mysterious thing. Sometimes a person has all the qualities you are looking for in a man/woman, but for some unknown reason, you still don't fall in love with them. You may like them a lot, and even be attracted to them, but you don't want to be in a relationship with them. It's not that there's anything wrong with them. They just don't click with you.

But I can guarantee you that she will not see it that way. If she's in love with you, but you only want to be friends with benefits, she will take it as, "You're hot and all, but you're not good enough and special enough to fall in love with."

So, if she's in love with you, then you either have to ask her to be your girlfriend, or break it off completely.

Answer 2

Success greatly depends on the maturity level of individuals involved. Parties must always maintain a very high level of respect for one another. Conscious omission of intimacy details during conversations both socially and privately should be maintained. Complete nondisclosure at all levels is a must. Each individual must care for and appreciate the other individual for who they are with their clothes on. If you are the person who wanted to discontinue the benefits... don't be cruel; if you are the person who wanted to continue the benefits... move on. Accept the fact that it's over, understand that you will be creating a new friendship not just reverting to the old one, be humble, and remember-change is good when growth of the self is involved. It will take time to adjust to the emotional distance, and there will likely be some pain, just smile and be thankful for the opportunity to have had the experience.