How do you tell someone they're a bad kisser?

Answer 1

You can tell someone that he or she is a bad kisser in the following manner. (For the sake of pronoun simplicity, let us assume that the bad kisser is a "he.")

First and foremost, if you have had a particularly unpleasant kissing experience, DO NOT think that by totally discontinuing your communication with this person you are telling him that he is a bad kisser*. Such an abrupt change in your relationship would simply be confusing, and it is unlikely that he will understand.

Given that kissing is a sensitive subject--especially when critiquing someone else's technique--you should take care to bring it up in an appropriately delicate way. If this is a boyfriend, lover, or someone else with whom you are in a relationship (and with whom would like to CONTINUE to be in a relationship), constructive criticism is absolutely essential. As far as bringing the topic up in conversation in the first place goes, wait until the two of you are in a position to talk in private, then try to steer the conversation towards more serious, "sensitive" matters, perhaps discussing the state of your relationship. If this is someone about whom you still care--and (again) with whom you'd like to continue to be in a relationship--it is best to precede any mention of kissing with a statement of affection. Here are two possible prefaces: "You know how much I care about you, right?" or, if you're comfortable with the L-word, "You know that I love you, right?" At this point, you can finally directly mention kissing in one of two ways. 1) If you and your kissing partner have a good, shared sense of humor, try dropping the bomb lightheartedly. "You know, I've actually been wanting to tell you something, for a while now..." He asks what, thinking it's something serious, at which point you say... "You're a terrible kisser." Although he might initially be offended, if you smile and add something along the lines of, "--but I love you anyway, and I want you to get better, so that we can kiss all the time, like total professionals" (or something of an equivalent level of affectionate playfulness), he will, with any luck, understand that it's not him, it's just his lips. If he still seems surprised or hurt, you may have to talk him up a bit, emphasizing that you still like (or love) him; otherwise, you can proceed to telling him what he's doing wrong. If you find him receptive to suggestions, now is the time to be straightforward. Is he opening his mouth too wide? Moving it awkwardly? Breathing weirdly? These problems are easily fixed if you tell him what would be better for you: don't open your mouth so wide, try not to breathe so heavily, etc. If the problem lies with the tongue, again: be straightforward. Especially for kissers with tongues that seem eager to explore the deepest recesses of your mouth, it is important to say not only what's wrong, but also that you do not like it. It's as simple as saying, "I don't like it when you use a lot of tongue." Although he may very well seem a bit mechanical and self-conscious the next few times you lock lips, you'll be glad you had this talk when he starts to get it right. Note: if you get your kissing partner to listen to your suggestions, try to say everything that's on your mind before kissing again. Inevitably, this conversation will lead to another, probably more awkward-than-usual make-out session; however, if you try to combine your suggestions with a genuine attempt at making out, you will most likely create an even MORE awkward (and possibly quite frustrating) "teaching session," seriously lacking in chemistry and comfort. Remember: get it off your chest, then let him try his best. 2) If you and your kissing partner do not have a particularly wonderful sense of humor, then sensitive and serious is the best way to go. Initiate the dialogue by first expressing that you have something important about which you need to talk to him, and that you do not want him to take it the wrong way. Reiterate your affection for him to show that you care about his feelings, then simply try to be as tactful as possible. Remember that the comments you make about his kissing skills may come across to your partner as a reflection on his manhood (being called a bad kisser is tantamount to being called romantically/sexually inexperienced). If you think he might be offended by the notion of being inexperienced, frame your suggestions as personal preferences, such as, "I like it better when you don't [insert undesirable kissing habit] while we're kissing." If you're not worried about treading on his insecurities, try (as in #1) stating what you don't like honestly and directly. After you've shared what's been on your mind, ask him if there's anything he'd like to tell you, about your kissing technique. Although this could potentially backfire (if he wants to kiss his way), it would show that you respect his opinions and don't think that you're perfect (or necessarily more experienced). Finally, try to follow your heart-to-heart with a lip-to-lip. This signal of romantic passion demonstrates that you still care about him and that you still WANT to kiss him-you just want him to get better at it.

Hopefully this helps. Muchos smooch-o's to all of you!

Footnote:

*(especially you, Jadee...thanks for not calling)

Answer 2

you go up to the girl and u just tell her that you don't want to be mean or rude , but the day when u kissed her was a mistake and wasn't suppose to happen and that your sorry, like this:


hey , i feel bad and embarrassed to say this , but the kiss i gave you the other day was a mistake and wasn't suppose to happen . and im very sorry , but it wasn't for u .

Answer 3

You don't unless you want to screw them up ! Sometimes it takes a lot of confidence to kiss another person, especially the young doing it for the first time. You wouldn't want to be told afterwards that you messed it up now would you ? What would be the point in saying that ? Not a very good way for a relationship to progress is it ?

A kiss is a kiss, not everyone is the same so how can you mess it up !