How do you tell your child about how babies are made?

Answer 1

It depends on their age. According to studies and medical information, it is always best to tell the truth. They need to trust you and rely on your information to be the truth when you answer a question they ask. Not a lot of detail is needed at first. Sometimes you can just explain that "mom's and dad's make them with love in a special way when they love each other so much they have extra love left over and use it to make someone new to love, like you." If religion is an important factor in your lives, you could add that "God helps mom's and dad's make them with love....".

If they continue to ask more questions, then, answer what they ask. Find out first what they think happens, they may have heard something from another kid and want to know if that is true. They may just want to know if it was in a cabbage patch or not. Then the answer can be much easier than that you may think they are needing at the time. Eventually you will need to be square with them and explain things biologically. But at first even that can be simplified.

See the related question below about how you make babies to help you get your facts straight and then give as much or as little detail as they need at the time. Without the truth about this subject, you leave them in an unprepared state to fumble through life and puberty on their own. That is when life-altering mistakes can be made.

For the very little ones, you can add a little fantasy but don't use this for anyone older than 6, they will know you are not telling them the truth. Having them able to trust you unconditionally is more important than your preventing them from knowing about natural processes in Biology. When you talk about it, use the proper medical terms for body parts if they ask questions specific to those.

If you are uncomfortable with this, ask yourself why you are hesitant to tell the truth (are you wanting to keep them from growing up? what is your motive to avoid the truth? are you doing this for you or for them?). Remember that it is better that they understand rather than get told garbage from other kids and believe that, which is what they will do if they know what you've told them is a lie. For whatever reason you believe withholding the correct information is necessary ...it really isn't helpful in the long run to not be honest and approach it like all other life lessons and teaching you provide to them as they grow.

Avoid answers like this:

Boys

* one cup of frogs * one cup of snails * a few puppy dog tails. Stir vigorously until the mixture becomes hard and gooey and hard to handle.

Girls

* One cup of sugar * A dab of spice * Sprinkle with everything nice. Stir gently until soft and smooth, and very easily cherished.

Answering this way will not only make them not trust you when they find out the truth, but it also sends very powerful (and wrong) messages about gender. Boys aren't full of frogs and snails and if very young you could scare them with information like this, just as girls are not full of "everything nice." Stereotyping males as hard to handle, hard and gooey and needing vigorous handling, and stereotyping females as cherishable, soft and smooth and needing gentle handling is hurtful for both genders.

Another opinion:

The story of the Stork bringing the baby and the story of babies coming from the cabbage patch are American classics that have been told to fairly young children for decades and decades, and are no different from the stories told to young children of the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

As the child matures mentally, the belief in these stories fades away and by age 11 the vast majority of children no longer believe in them, but still enjoy the activities that surround these stories. These stories have not been directly proven to cause trust issues between children and parents.

Millions and millions of parents pass these stories on to their children as tradition, for fun and enjoyment and also as a way to explain certain things to a child in a manner which they can understand when they may be too young to be told about the general workings...