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In the past, one's sexual orientation may have been irrelevant in most social settings. There may have been no reason to tell your employer that you are gay. The same goes for distant relations, classmates, acquaintances, strangers on the bus, etc.

However, where gays and lesbians have access to marriage, many of them now have husbands and wives. The fact that one is getting married or has married is something that is much more readily shared and communicated to those with whom we have only a casual relationship.

After the legalization of same-sex marriage, you begin to notice, for example, men telling waiters "My husband will have the soup." Although it is not appropriate to stand up and announce to a waiter that you are gay, there is no difference between a man saying "my wife will have the salad" and "my husband will have the salad." It is not reasonable to expect that certain groups of people hide the fact that they are married while other groups reveal the same information during the natural course of conversation.

This, then, is the main way in which "opening up" or "coming out" is affected by the legalization of same-sex marriage.

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Q: How has same-sex marriage changed the way gay people open up?
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