How long does it take to recover from narcissist abuse?

Answer 1

As soon as you realize that you do not miss the real thing but the dream. As soon as you understnad that it is about your survival, your sanity, your dignity, those who trully love you, then you will move on. It will take time though, depending on the level of your involvement and love you had for your dream man/woman. One thing is sure , you came out of it stronger, knowing that this will never happen again. It is worth trying ! it is a difficult journey but empowering. welcome to the club. we are here too.

I've been away from my x narcissist for almost 5 years, and i still struggle. for me, it's hard to accept that i allowed someone to treat me like that at all, especially for so long. I'm over what he did to me, I'm not over how stupid i was to take it for 4 years. I'm still trying to forgive myself.

ANSWER

I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 4 years. He left me for another woman. At that time, I read everything I could get my hands on and realized exactly what he was. HOWEVER, that did not stop me from falling for his charm FIVE years later when he came back for more NS, saying he realized how much he cared for me and missed me and my family. As I really had never gotten over him entirely (these people are much harder than regular relationships to get over) I fell for it hook line and sinker. In the past 5 months, he has come back TWICE and then gone back to the woman he left me for originally after only being with me a couple of weeks. So to the person above, please do not be hard on yourself, I had forgiven HIM a long time ago because I felt like I was part of the problem but this time around, I am actually more devestated than last time because of getting back into the trap when I was already armed with the knowledge about these people.

I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 9 years. It took another two years to get away from him. I decided to him after he became physically abusive. When you are in it, you are so tired and it is impossible to think clear. They do not let you have any joy in life. You don't sleep well or eat regularly, you can't count on anything. Your world and reality are completely distorted. Nothing is ever about you or how you feel... ever. If you do speak up for yourself you are accused of being selfish or controlling. You are not well and your world is controlled. You are manipulated on a level that is unimaginable and unbelievable. It starts the second they spot you. You really don't have a choice once they set their sights on you. They lie, manipulate and use any source in their power to get what they want. They are relentless. Noone should ever feel stupid. You are a victim.

Now, you will never fully recover from everything that happened to you. Random acts of kindness from people will make you cry. You will be jumpy and skiddish more than other people. You will feel shunned by people that you thought cared about you because he manipulated the truth. It is hard. I would say to do things for yourself. Things you always wanted to do but were putting off until the timing was better. Get your hair done, nails, excercise, sleep (you need it), go on vacation if you can, go out see people, make new friends and tell people the truth!!! You have nothing to be ashamed of and need and deserve all of the support you can get.

Answer 2

This depends on the strength of the individual, the length of the relationship and the severity of the abuse. For me the relationship lasted for 4 months and it took me 1.5years to get over it. Try talking to someone, or write your feelings down.