How should you make eye contact with a girl you like?
I asked one woman friend of mine "why did you go out with him?"
and she replied: "because when I looked at him he kept eye contact
When I recall the very successful people I have had the pleasure
of working for in the corporate world, I remember that they all
maintained eye contact while speaking to me. When you watch
somebody successful being interviewed on TV, like Scott McNealy of
Sun, you notice that they never look away from their interviewer's
eyes and they rarely blink.
You are approaching a chick in the hall as you walk towards each
other. When should you look at her? (Her eyes, silly. If you look
at anything else, it's over.) I have tried all combinations. If I
wait until the last instant, I either find she is not looking, or,
if she is looking, she quickly looks away. If I look at her and she
looks at me and I look away, then she never looks again. Then I
tried something bold and decide I will look at her eyes the entire
time. To my amazement, she gazes like a deer into headlights. Never
breaks eye contact. So I decide to try this little experiment.
Recently I spent a week attending meetings in one of our
buildings filled with educated successful professional women in
their 20's and 30's. Most are definitely doable. Some are gorgeous.
Some are married, some are not. I spent my time between meetings
trying this: I would pick a different floor and I would walk down
each hall, walking just slightly to the right of center. When I saw
a woman walking towards me, I maintained looking at her eyes. Only
the heavy ones did not keep looking. But for all the others,
including the gorgeous ones, they maintained eye contact the entire
time. I never blinked. They never blinked. They broke eye contact
only when we were just about next to each other. I broke eye
contact only after she did. What really amazed me was that by the
time we passed, almost every chick had broken a smile. Some even
said "Hi." I did not smile or say Hi until they first did.
These halls were not long. Each woman was no farther than 30
feet away when I first saw her. But what if it had been a very long
hall? How far down the hall should I start looking at her eyes? I
certainly don't want to scare her. I look straight ahead, and then
when she is about 30 feet away, I start looking into her eyes.
I then went to the mall a few times to try the experiment there.
Most did not look at all. Of those who did look, most only looked
for a second. Only about a third locked on. Of those, about half
broke a smile or said Hi. A couple of them where so moved that they
Do you have to be walking? I tried the experiment while sitting.
Almost none maintained eye contact. Do they have to be walking?
While I was walking I would look at any chicks who were sitting.
The results were the same as if we were both walking.
If I was approaching two chicks, and looked from one to the
other, I lost them both. So, if I am in such a situation, I lock
onto one and I don't change my mind.
If I smiled or said Hi, while she was still looking at me, but
before she smiled or said Hi, it would usually result in my loosing
her. On rare instances did it make her smile and say Hi with
enthusiasm. So, I never smile or say Hi until she first does so,
and I smile if she smiles and say Hi if she says Hi.
If she did not lock eye contact with me, I would go ahead and
say Hi when she got close to me. In many instances she would then
enthusiastically turn to me and smile and say Hi.
I would also look at chicks who were with a man if he was not
looking in my general direction. I was surprised at the number of
times that she would lock on and actually smile.
I noticed that the better I dressed, or the sexier I dressed,
the better I did. I noticed that the women who looked where better
dressed then those who did not.
Eye contact in a bar is an entire science in itself. When done
correctly, it can be lethal.
Real PLAYERS never stare. They lock eye contact. There is a
difference between staring and locking eye contact. They are two
totally different things.
When you look at a woman, here is what you do. Lock eye contact
with her. Don't blink. Don't look at her friend. Pick one eye and
don't let go. You only get one chance at this. Don't give up. Don't
smile. Don't say anything. You are telling her that you are
interested in her and you are not intimidated by her. Then leave it
up to her. You will be amazed at the staring capability that women
She is thinking "Who is this guy to be so bold as to continue
looking at me while I look at him? Now this is interesting. He is
different." She knows that if she lets go now, she will loose you.
She will go one of two ways. If she wants to loose you, she will
break eye contact and look away. If she does not want to loose you,
but is instead intrigued by what you are doing, she knows that she
has to eventually end the stare down and she will have to make the
move. She will have to either smile or say Hi.
If she smiles, you smile. If she says Hi, you say Hi. Don't say
Hello. Then you reward her and make your move.
Of course, you don't always have to wait for eye contact to make
And trust me I know.