How would you ensure that your communication skills meets the needs of the individual and how often would you review this?

Answer 1

Effective communication is an ongoing process. Se;f-review should occur during each contact. Professionals should learn communication techniques which continually "check in" with the other person to make sure that the exchange is actually effective.

For example, a Social Worker is helping a husband to plan long-term care for his wife who has just been diagnosed with dementia. The Social Worker has the belief that the husband wants long-term placement in a facility. The husband, however, tells the Worker: "My wife and I always said we'd stay together in our own home." The Worker should then use a technique to reflect back what she has heard the husband say. Reflection checks for inaccuracy /accuracy of what is heard. So, an effective exchange would be, "So, if I'm understanding you, you and your wife always planned to stay at home together." (Husband indicates yes.) The Worker should then follow-up with, "Has that decision changed for you since your wife now has dementia? Or, are you saying that despite the dementia, you would like to take her home?" The husband gives an emphatic, "Yes".

Had the Social Worker not reflected what she believed she heard, she would not have understood the husband's correct wishes. Had the Social Worker proceeded based on her own beliefs, she might have erred and tried to push the husband to admit his wife to a nursing home.

Some sentences or phrases that help to make sure you have properly understood a person would be:

• So let me see if I'm understanding you so far...(then repeat back what the other person said).
• If we stop for a minute and re-cap what we have discussed so far, you have said you.... (repeat the points the person made).
• It's important that I understand what you are saying. Tell me if I have this right... (repeat the points the person made).
• If I put everything you just said into a summary of a few sentences, would I be correct in saying... (then summarize the points the person made)?

After reflection and checking communication for accuracy, you must allow the person to correct any inaccuracies in your understanding of what was said. If your first try contained inaccuracies, you must again reflect back the new information and check it for accuracy again.

For example, the Social Worker begins:

"So you and your wife had always planned to stay together. But now she has a diagnosis of dementia so you need long-term planning."

"Yes," the husband says, "I love her so much; I couldn't live without her by my side."

"Well, there are many facilities where the spouse can stay overnight to be together."

"My wife has always had family around her. Our children, our grandchildren, neices, nephews...all of us together will help her."

"So let me see if I'm understanding you. I had thought you wanted to admit your wife to a nursing home, but you want to take her home."

"Yes!"

"And your adult children and others will be there to help you and your wife."

"Absolutely! I'd never put her in a home--never!"

Any error in communication means the conversation--and review--begins anew.

Reviews may be more complicated and less direct when the conversation has a lot of emotions. A good example is a conversation between a therapist and client.

"So am I hearing you right that you hate your husband?"

(The client pauses...) "No, I don't exactly hate him. But I can't stand him! He gets to go out with his buddies. I get to stay home with screaming kids! I say I hate him--but I do love him."

"So, you're feeling he's not being considerate and you're being left at home to deal with everything while he goes out."

"Yeah, and he doesn't even come home until early morning. Sometimes I wish he'd realize I'd like to go out once in a while too. We never go out together any more."

"And that makes you feel hurt?"

Reflection and re-checking for accuracy can go on until the last sentence spoken. The best communicators make their inquires seem like a natural part of a conversation, rather than repeating word-for-word what the other person has said.