How would you handle an ex-wife who is constantly providing our 11 year old son with disparaging information?

Answer 1

Read the information in the related link I provided below. I would also suggest printing it out and giving a copy of it to your ex-wife. Hopefully, this will show her it is her child she's hurting, even though you are the intended 'target'.

And just keep being a good dad to your son, but don't retaliate by putting her down to him. This will only confuse him and make him feel caught in the middle, and that he has to choose sides. Besides, your son will soon see the truth for himself, which will not be a good thing for your ex-wife.

When one parent does all they can to turn their child(ren) against the other parent, it usually comes back at them and bites them in the rear. When the kids realize one parent has deliberately done and said things to damage their relationship with the other parent, they get extremely resentful of the parent who did that.

So your ex-wife needs to realize that, unless she wants her son to end up very resentful of her when he's a bit older, she needs to stop doing it - immediately. You may want to point out to her that right now it's her son she's hurting, but in the future she will be the one who pays for such atrocious actions when he wants noting to do with her for trying to turn him against his dad.

I would also remind her that kids need both parents, not just a bitter, resentful mother who is trying to infect your son with her venemous attitide, which is a very selfish thing to do. Children are not weapons, they are the victims of divorce, and often the weapons parents use against each other.

But in the meantime, just keep reassuring your son you love him, and let him know you are there for him. He will see the truth for himself soon enough.