I'm Rachel. I'm 15 and my boyfriend Jordan is 16. Jordan and I want to have a baby. I mean we're ready. He has a job and we have everything we need. Is this bad and is it illegal?

Answer 1

If he is of legal age in your state it is illegal for him to have sex with you.

I imagine you also have not asked your parents. You know, the people that you and the baby will live with until you are 18 or more. Until you are of legal age you are not allowed to move out or even see your boyfriend without their permission. And you need to sort out;

- who will stay home with the baby or can you afford daycare that can range from $100 a week to more than $800 a week for the care of a newborn.

- school is a must and can you solve it

-it's impossible to do homework while the baby need attention and screaming. They just don't lie there sleeping. Can you handle school, baby and homework on 3 hours of sleep

- does Jordan have a steady job and is it well paid since babies cost hundreds of thousands until they are out of college.

- who is paying for the birth and if the baby has complications. If you are on your parents health insurance the baby will not be. And the labor you and Jordan have to pay for. The average hospital bill is $5,000-$10,000 for a vaginal delivery. Add at least $2,000 if you need a c-section. These figures do not include the medical costs associated with nine months of prenatal visits, ultrasound costs and other lab costs. If your baby is born premature or with health problems, neonatal costs can range from a few thousand for a short stay to more than $200,000 if you baby is born more than 15 weeks early.

- You might not be able to get welfare if you counted on that since most likely will they also count your parents income since you live with them.

- a newborn will go through 300-400 diapers a month in the first months. This means $75-$125 a month just for diapers. If you can't breastfeed or the don't have enough milk you can add $100 a month to your budget for formula.

- The doctor will want to see the baby at least every third month which will cost and also vaccinations. That is a cost you have to add.

- the chance for the relationship to last is very minor at your age. Not something you want to hear I'm sure but that is what the numbers show.

I'm not listing all those things to discourage you but these are the facts you have to know, for your baby's and familyś sake. Having a baby at 15 is not like having one as an adult. You have to include your parents because you are dragging them into something they did not ask for. And don't forget college. Being sick of school is one thing but being sick of a no end job that don't pay enough when all your friends is getting good jobs or higher education really sucks (and this is for Jordan too). There is nothing you can do now you can't do later in life when you have a place of your own, a education and a job. What you and Jordan is feeling now is what many teens feel; you are in love and hormones make you want a baby. That does not mean it's a good idea to have it now. Having a crib does not mean this is a good time to be parents.