I am afraid of being hurt again?

Answer 1

I am 20 years old I was in a relationship for 3 years with a guy I really loved and thought he loved me too but one day he told me he wanted a break and I was heartbroken, I then later found out he had been cheating on me the entire time from the start to the end with many different girls, one girl he even apparently secretly dated for 3 months while being with me and she confronted me about it. It was really hard to hear all this because I had so much trust in him, he was my first love and I am a really respectable girl friend but it made it easier to get over him after I found out all the stuff he had done.

It has been a year and I now started dating a new guy about 6 months ago. I told myself I could never date or trust a guy but when I met my bf now I knew he was a really great guy and we fell in love. I have been sooooooooooooooo happy with him but lately I guess we have gotten so attached and close I keep having all these negative thoughts about how hes gna hurt me and it almost feels like everyday I wait for the day hes gna break my heart.

I hatee feeeling like this because he really is a great boyfriend he makes me feel so good hes always calling or txting me throughout the day and we see each other every weekend the entire weekend, Il either stay at his house or he will stay at mine (we live an hour and 20 min awy from each other)

His friends live by me so we always see them every weekend too its usually like 2 days w just us and one day with his friends and us or the other way around so its not like he never sees his friends but I understand he needs guy time too so he does hangout w them alone as well. The problem is his friends are the definition of jerks, they would and have cheated on their girlfriends when they had them, they say stuff in front of me like how my bf shouldn't have a gf his last year of college n stuff like that and it makes me really upset. Ive also seen them txt him stuff like is ur gf coming out tonite lets get laid and he just replys back like yea she is and just changes the subject but I have also seen stuff in his phone like his friend says i wish i had a girlfriend and hes like yeaa its so much better having a girl friend. He tells me to just ignore his friends and that just bc they are his friends doesnt mean that he is like that. I do understand that but then when I am alone I replay all the things his friends have said and done n makes me scared that I am going to get hurt again. You can tell that he is more mature than them and that hes been through that stage of hooking up w random girls and now its just not fun to him and he rather have a girlfriend that he is really happy with but that they are just still in that stage n havent met the right girl yet but I still have panics whenever hes out with them that he is doing the worst things in the world n I am going to end up hurt.

I don't know what to do because in the back of my mind I know hes not my ex and he isn't really suspicious like my ex was, he lets me see his phone if i wanted to, he always calls me and tells me how much I mean to him and how hes been in love once bfore but never like this and how he knows he wants to marry me and wouldn't do anything to ruin this and loose me and everything is fine when I am with him but when Im not all i can think about is wht his friends say n how i am going to be hurt again...I don't know how to help it and I try to not talk about it with him too much bc I don't want this to ruin our relationship but I just want to stop thinking these bad things and just be happy and ignore his friends