If you sent a Narcissist a long letter with all the mean stuff in it that they did to you why would they call you back and tell you off and say you ruined their day and deny the truth?

Added to my last post...they are pathological liars with the ability to build dramatic relationships and situations within their lives in order to feel. It is true about the pathological lying, part of the diagnosis! they will never admit fault either, it damages their ego! Sorry, I totally forgot to specifically answer your question. The reason why he/she denied all the horrible things that he/she did is because they can selectively remove parts of their memories in order to protect themselves from being wounded..and then they continue trying to gain narcissistic supply. Again, the repeated theme of lack of empathy...the inability to care about what their actions do to others. Pathetically, as long as they can keep reeling people in to use, they remain satisfied.. though satisfaction, happiness and contentment are not emotions that a narcissist can have. Peace...off to the gym to take care of myself and improve MY ego! mbme I agree that totally ignoring the N is the right thing to do. You have been emotionally wounded by someone who does not have the abiity to feel empathy. Therefore, stop all contact, look within yourself and find the strength to say..."I will never hear an apology because he/she has a mental disease and I can't help him/her. I loved as much as I could in this relationship but it is beyond this person's capability to love me back normally". Try to understand that if you keep expecting something from this person that is good, you will be disapointed or deceived. Think of yourself now. A relationship with an N is traumatic and heartbreaking...do you know that post traumatic stress disorder is one of the symptoms you can have when leaving a N? Depending upon the depth of your love for him/her...the harder it is. Good luck. Read these posts. Good people are speaking to you who have experienced this...take heed. It is utterly amazing to read these posts and to realize that their experiences with N's have been exactly like yours and mine! Believe me. By the way, this is excellent therapy too. I begin mental health counseling next week and I will be sharing it with all of you. Thank you all, and peace. mbme I really wanted to do this too! How great it would be to get it all off your chest to tell the N exactly what you think of him! I am resisting this very thing though and I'll tell you why. Maybe it will help you. From the help and advice from the people on this post, I have come to believe that anything less than zero contact is probably detrimental to moving on. First of all, any reaction an N gets from you is fuel for their narcissistic supply. By letting him know that you were upset, he may derive some sick pleasure and validation from that. Why give it to him? Of course he will blame you and try to make you feel guilty. He is incapable of taking any responsibility. Don't beat yourself up that you actually wrote the letter. If it made you feel better than that is good. I would hope that you would sever any more contact, hold your head up, move on and seek someone that will treat you right. Good luck! How about calling him to tell him you're never calling him again! ANSWER I have not known anyone with strong N traits (and I have known several such people well) who would ever admit to having done something "wrong" within the relationship. What we usually get from these people is a sneering explanation of how WE "misunderstood" something and "totally imagined" something else and "how did you come up with THAT?" kind of response. Whatever, it's always our fault if there is any kind of problem. There's no dealing with these people unless you're willing to be a total slave to their whims. And here's the kicker: once you're their slave, they despise you and go find someone else more interesting, more challenging, or at least different. Run for your life NOW and stop ALL contact with this person. Try to not even think about him. Get help if you need it to heal and recover from this trauma of being made to feel worthless and filled with longing for an abusive person. You deserve better. Georgette