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No matter what your spouse says, how you respond is key. As a mother would say to a child who says "he started it," the response would be "you finished it." In a time when you are both calm and not in the midst of an argument, you and your spouse should arrange to attend a communication class, and then absolutely practice that. It will save you heartache and it is so much better for kids to have parents who can stay on the subject when they disagree.

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Q: If you spouse vindictively goads you into saying something she considers Abusive Is she not the abuser for creating such a situation and the reaction?
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