If your girlfriend quit showing affection when your affection increased and she said it also happened in a previous relationship should you back off even if you don't want to?

Answer 1

There are some people that love "the chase" (trying to win the other person over) and once they do, it appears the excitement goes right out of the relationship for these people. Your girlfriend sounds like one of these people. Their attitudes really aren't about their relationships, but they are antsy and unsure of who they are and where they want to be in life. They find it hard to settle down and commit to much of anything. Every individual is different and some of us are lucky enough to find that right person and be happy with them. No, we don't always have the answer as to who we really are or what we want in our futures and I think that happens so we keep striving to better ourselves. None of us show the undying affection for each other as we did when we first went together, but it important to show affection. I always like to call it a "circle of life"; we meet and the fireworks explode, we can hardly breath or think of anything else but that person we love. Then we start seeing a lot of each other and things get slightly stale and that's a sign that the first part of the magic has worn off the relationship (normal) and it's time to give each other a little head space. You should go out with your friends every so often and she should do the same with her friends. If we are constantly joined at the hip with our mates with every single thing we do, you bet your relationship will get boring. I always like an air of adventure and mystery in my relationships and my husband and I even after 33 years of marriage still have that. There are no serious, dark secrets we keep from each other and we are true to each other. I just have my things I want to do and so does he. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." He finds me exciting because he never knows what I'm going to do next, and I love that he gives me the head space and that he goes out with his friends fishing and golfing. It gives both of the opportunity to see other people (friends only) and it's refreshing. Many times we do things together even around the house or sit and discuss world events, etc. Yup, your relationship has become stale and boring. Please don't blame yourself. Communication is so important and just sit down with that girlfriend of yours and discuss this problem with her or, don't discuss it and just go out with your buddies a little more and give her some head space. You don't have to be there for her every waking moment. If you play a little hard to get she'll be all over you again. I think there is still love there, but you need to "pump up the volume." Good luck Marcy

Answer 2

Yes, if your girlfriend is expressing that she feels overwhelmed by increased affection, it's important to respect her boundaries and give her space. It's important to communicate openly and find a balance that works for both of you. Understanding her needs and concerns is key in maintaining a healthy relationship.