If your husband comes home one night from work and out of the blue tells you he loves you but is not in love with you he has just gone cold inside and there is nothing left is there another women?

Answer 1

Not always. The key words are 'he loves you, but feels cold inside.' This just doesn't include you, but his entire life. He may be frustrated, feel depressed and confined and just wants to be free. Many people go through this and men can go through these feelings around 40 years of age and it use to be called, 'Midlife Crisis', but is actually 'Andropause' a type of menopause (similar to women, but with lesser symptoms.) These are some symptoms:

• May change the way he looks. Changing his hairstyle and dressing differently.
• Making rash decisions. Example: buying a sports car to generally draw attention to himself re younger women.
• Wanting to travel (alone)
• He can become argumentative in your relationship.
• Depression
• Hot Flashes
• Lethargy
• Moody
• Doesn't want to talk to you or do anything with you.
• Is growing apart from his immediate family and friends.
• Feels he should have done more with his life because he doesn't feel he's reached the unreasonable goals he has set for himself.
• NOTE: Medications all have side effects so if your husband is on medications please look them up on the computer or, ask your pharmacist for a print out on any drugs your husband is on. Some medications can cause feelings of 'emptiness', depression and lethargy.

Sit down with your husband with the TV off and the phone unplugged and have a good chat. Don't discuss with him immediately if he is having an affair with someone at work. A few drinks doesn't hurt as 'loose lips, sink ships' (meaning: alcohol will relax people and they are more likely to speak their mind and be more open. You need to get to the bottom of his problem.

If he is depressed then suggest you BOTH go in for a physical. By saying 'both' this doesn't push the blame off on him. He should get a good physical that includes a T3/T4 thyroid test; a test for his adrenal gland and a test for testosterone levels.

Depending on what problems you are having and what he has to say suggest going on a vacation together if you can afford it and sometimes a change of scenery and some R & R can change a person's attitude towards life and the relationships in their life.