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Is it reasonable to believe that establishing strong personal boundaries will discourage narcissists looking for a potential source of supply?

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2006-09-22 09:15:27

If you are thinking that strong personal boundaries will

discourage your narcissist then you are only kidding yourself.

Narcissistic people are ego-maniacal, selfish, self absorbed, feel

they are above average in intelligence and smarter than most around

them and that includes their coworkers (of course this is in their

own minds in most cases.) Narcissists can be perfectionists, moody

and short on patience. You can argue with them, but you are feeding

into what they want. You can set boundaries, but they are adept at

breaking boundaries in most aspects of their lives and love the

doing it because it fuels their ego and in their own mind makes

them more powerful. SHOOT FROM THE HIP! Tell them to seek help or

you're out of there! The stats are very low that Narcissists every

seek counseling because they believe they have all the answers to

everything and will even consider the counselor not worthy of the

Narcissists so-called higher intellectual level. My suggestion ....

run while you can! =reply to your answer= Actually, what I am after

is how to avoid narcissists in the first place! I keep hearing

about "boundaries" and how these seem to be compromised in these

relationships, with respect to the victim, whom may become too

complacent, forgiving and accommodations of the narcissists

behavior. Late in my relationship with my own narcissist (under the

advice of a therapist) I did adapt some techniques to incorporate

stronger personal boundaries. Shortly thereafter, our relationship

ended. He seemed suddenly to become bored with me,picked a

ridiculous fight which ended in me throwing him out. I do not make

light of this. The whole relationship has been extremely trying and

I still struggle in coming to terms with it. I am trying for myself

to understand how I may avoid such a person in the future. Are

boundaries the key? When each of us chooses someone in hopes of

having a future with them it's a gamble. Narcissists and

mental/physical abusers are chameleons and hide their traits very

well. The only thing one can do is date them for at least a year

because even chameleons can's hide forever. Please go onto:

www.google.com TYPE IN: WHAT ARE THE TRAITS OF A NARCISSIST You

will find lots of information and hopefully you will have some

guide-lines to go by. Good luck


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