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Ive probably been in love with this girl for over 5 years. right now shes 23, and im 28. when we met she was to young for me but i liked her as a person we became friends, during a bad time in her life. we were very very close we talked every day. we never made love ( until she was older) , but she wanted to. because i thought she was to young. but then we had a falling out. over the past 5 or 6 years we both have been in a lot of toxic relationships some of hers still linger in her life.
our pattern is we randomly reconnect, we hangout as friends once or twice, FaceTime and text. and then when i try to ask her out it scares her away. every time shes usually in a weird place. or going through something with an ex. or one of us is in a relationship. the timing for one of us is always terrible. eventually i get so frustrated at the situation that it rips me apart that things aren't progressing in the direction i want it to, so i cut her off and eventually find a girlfriend and move on. when things fade out and the new relationship ends i find myself drawn back to her, or she to me.
ive talked to her about going steady she tells me she really looks forward to our encounters that pop up once or twice even three times a year. and that if we tried and failed she would lose that forever. she also compares me to some of the bad times in her life not because of me, but because i was around during the bad times. at the same time we've known each other for so long we try to take things slow but i feel like i always finish last. ive tried every approach in the book i feel like at this point. but my heart can not give up on her.
j
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