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At such a difficult time in your life writing sympathy thank you notes can seem overwhelming. Who gets a note? What do you write? How long do you have to write letters of sympathy?

Firstly, it is no longer considered a "must" to send thank you notes after a funeral. Modern etiquette allows for much leeway during the grieving process, and it is a major breach in etiquette for someone to expect or be offended by a lack of a thank you card or note from the grief-stricken.

However, you may find that the task itself can be quite comforting. Any member of the family can send notes on the entire family's behalf or you can invite a friend or family member to come over to help you. Your funeral director can provide you with thank you cards or you can write notes on your personal stationery.

The process of writing the notes of thanks can help you remember the kindness of friends and provide you with an opportunity to remember your loved one.

If you opt to send a sympathy thank you, according to more traditional standards, the letters of sympathy are ideally sent within two weeks of services to the following people (however, even Emily post says there is no time limit):

o Pallbearers

o Clergy

o Friends and loved ones who provided services such as babysitting, food, or driving in the funeral procession

o Anyone who sent flowers, donations, long hand-written letters of condolence, photos or gifts

A thank you note is not necessary (but can be sent) for short cards of condolence or for attendance of services .

Cards of Sympathy need not [ nor is it expected ] be answered , unless there is a gift of a donation in memory of the deceased, or a Mass said for them , or some other token.Even this task may be delegated to a relative or close friend if the bereaved is not physically or emotionally up to it.

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Q: Should cards of sympathy be answered?
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Is it acceptable to send sympathy cards and flowers for a Hindu funeral?

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