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Should you be upset if your boyfriend is attending a bachelor party?

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October 03, 2013 2:02PM

(All advice is generic and incomplete of necessity. Apply as

fits, and use your own brains.)

"Answer" id="Answer">Answer

Bachelor parties are common and acceptable by most in today's

society. If you are upset, explore strengthening trust in the

relationship. Bachelor parties are a harmless way to celebrate a

man's last day as a bachelor.

"Answer" id="Answer">Answer

Yes, bachelor parties are disgusting betrayal (and I'm a man, mind

you). If he goes to one without your consent then he is selfish, he

is a traitor, and you can find a better man than him.

"Answer" id="Answer">Answer

Since you ask, you are, whether you should be or not. Either

because you're afraid he might reconsider or take this last

opportunity to have sex with someone else before he'd be breaking a

marriage vow (though that would still be cheating in most

relationships)

or because the idea that he's "celebrating his last day of

freedom" insults you, since it implies he wouldn't marry you if he

had a choice. Then you should know that a bachelor's party is

almost never HIS idea, but that of his male friends. He may

actually have a problem with it himself, in which case maybe you

should provide him with the excuse "my wife doesn't want me to",

though he should be more upstanding. More likely, he likes the

idea, in which case it shouldn't be a problem for you even if you

don't trust him, since this will show you if you can.

"Answer" id="Answer">Answer

No, you should not be upset if your boyfriend is having a bachelor

party. I mean the worst thing you can do is try to control him.

Bachelor Parties today are a cottage industry and the bad things

you think might happen really don't.

"Answer" id="Answer">Answer

NO ABSOLUTELY NOT, let him do his thing if u tie him down it will

make matters worse go out for a drink with your girlfriends or

something hun

Depends on his friends!

"Answer" id="Answer">Answer

Sounds like you both might have some trust issues. Guys and girls

should both be allowed to go out with friends. Even if it's a

bachelor party. Let him go and trust him. Then maybe he will

understand that he can trust you too.

"Detailed_case:" id="Detailed_case:">Detailed case:

Hey thanks for the advice, but I really do trust him. It is just

the places he is going. I know his ex will be there, and she still

calls. I don't like that, so that is why it bugs me

REPLY: So you don't trust him really (under these harsh

conditions). Ask him whether he trusts HIMSELF under these

conditions (alcohol, tempting suggestions/women ...). If he

doesn't, he should change them.

REPLY2:I know it bothers you that his ex-girlfriend is going to

be there, but then again it's a trust issue. He shouldn't have any

problems with you having a bachelorette party either. What does he

do when she calls him? Has he asked her to stop or are they just

friends? then only thing I can tell you is you have to trust him

and if you have doubts sit down and talk with him about it. Don't

accuse, don't throw fits, don't get angry, just sit and talk with

him about it. Besides, fighting with him about it isn't going to

solve anything and just make things worse.

Good luck.

REPLY3: Nowhere in the posters question did they mention an

ex-girlfriend attending the bachelor party. My question is, why is

she there? A bachelor party can be anything. It can be guys just

going out for some beers at a pub and cutting of a little (or a

lot), or going to a strip bar or even a private party his friends

are having for him. Other than strippers there should be no girls

present and that means no ex!

Men having these bachelor parties is a celebration of the last

night of "freedom!" That's all it should be. In high end strip bars

the girls do dance (possible lap dance) but that's as far as it

usually goes and the bouncers see to that. Those girls aren't out

to date your boyfriend, but entertain and they get paid for it. If

you have a problem with this then you have a jealous streak in

you.

REPLY4: If his ex is going to be there then I have no idea why

you aren't going. Please explain! Yes, it's odd to me and even if

he's true to you, you can bet she's going to do her best to try and

get his attention.

[Comment: This may not be a bad thing. A bachelor's party is

supposed to make clear to him what he's giving up (at least in

part), and whether he's REALLY serious about his commitment. Though

it might make the impression on him that everyday would be a party

(depending on his intelligence). As to why SHE shouldn't go...How

could he possibly celebrate freedom from her in her

presence?]


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