Should you feel sorry for your ex-Narcissist who was mean to you and dumped you?

Answer 1

I would say that if it helps YOU, go ahead and feel sorry for them. Let me explain: First, I am not an expert by any means. If this is difficult for you please get some counseling.I will tell you what has helped me though, with the help of my counselor. A narcissist should not be excused from their bad behavior. I truly believe that they know they are treating you bad. They likely don't care because they are so consumed with themselves and their own need for validation. The thing that made the difference to me was knowing that a narcissist doesn't care because he is INCAPABLE of it. They just don't know how. This is very tragic for them. Just think! They will likely never be able to feel love the way you or I are able. They are at a huge disadvantage in almost every aspect of their lives. They are never happy and they live in a constant state of inner turmoil. I read somewhere, "How can you hate a snake for being a snake?" Same with a narcissist. It is what it is and we can't change it. We can feel sorry for them enough to know that we can't blame ourselves. If this helps you accept and move on, go ahead and feel sorry for them. Just please don't stay with them! No amount of pity will change them. Good luck. You are not alone! Don't feel sorry for him, but learn to forgive. I have on my fridge, "If you can't forgive the person then they still have control of you." Narcissists feel little to no remorse and they will just jump from one prey to the other. They are hunters without knowing it. No counseling will help them because they feel they know more and are more highly intelligent than most people. Good luck I've been feeling sorry for my ex-narcissist for quite awhile now, even though he was the one who dumped me after I found out he was cheating on me with a friend -- who was engaged to someone else, by the way. A real sad mess for everyone involved...But, I'd always remember his sad sad stories of his childhood and forgive him for hurting me so much because he didn't know any better and someone who went thru such traumatic events couldn't possibly be expected to rise above that. Well -- and maybe this will help you, too-- after 8 months of crying over him, therapy, medication, and still feeling bad over his sad childhood, I was given a gift that I believe was no coincidence: I flew on an airplane with someone from his family, who shockingly revealed to me that these sad stories were, in fact, lies. Everything I believed about this guy -- lies. Everything that reeled me in, with my big heart and huge capacity for love -- lies. He's a narcissist, which I only realized after he so ruthlessly discarded me, and that's what they do -- lie to evoke sympathy, which equals Narcissistic Supply. So, think about all of those things about yours that make you sad, and remember my story...

Answer 2

It's normal to feel compassion for someone who may be struggling with their own issues, but it's important to prioritize your own well-being and set boundaries with a toxic ex-partner. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can help you navigate your feelings and move forward in a healthy way.