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First, keep in mind - that changing your spouse is impossible, forget about that, right now. Changing their mind about being motivated to get a job, to stop cheating, to stop playing video games, to stop smoking (anything), to like your family.

They have to want to do that. The more you push them to try and change, the more you will push them away. Guaranteed!

The only suggestion that I would have for YOU to change, would be to give up being selfish and give up trying to control everything. This marriage is NOT about you. It is about a covenant. To serve the other, to honor the other and to respect the other. These are the actions.. Love is the choice. Chose to love them time and time again.

If you are a woman, it would be a traditional idea to change your name. It is very easy and there is a step-by-step instruction on the link below.

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Q: What all do you need to change after getting married?
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