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"I swear to drunk I'm not God" is perfect.

" I am not drunk" doesn't work.

Don't say this either: Honest officer I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

Also, do not say "urgh... urgh i...not...drunk" although you could do the honest thing and say " I hav e had six pints of guinnes" that'll do it

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Q: What do you not say to a police man when you are drunk?
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