What happens when a narcissist's lies are believed and the narcissist receives pity and love because the new friend believes the narcissist is a victim?

Answer 1

To offer a true narcissist pity and love is to paint a sign on your forehead that says PREY. Narcissists are predators, make no mistake. They are chamelions, they are masters of creating the facade of being whatever you may need. Vulnerability is weakness to them and they will tell you whatever you need to hear to take advantage of you and fulfill their own needs. Narcissists need to cause suffering to others for a multitude of reasons. Narcissists have two types of tears, crocodile tears (fake tears) and tears for themselves. You will NEVER cure a narcissist, it's not a disease. Narcissistm is part of an individuals personality. Narcissists are vampires of anything and everything they can take from others whether it be financial, material or emotional. Any kindness, empathy or generosity they may show will be minimal and is only part of the con-job. Narcissists have spent their whole lives honeing their skill and if you catch them in a fabrication are devoid of any guilt but will agree with anything you may say. Keep in mind, to a narcissist you are nothing unless you are of some use to them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The face of a narcissist, at first I'm tempted to say my own (face)…Let me explain. I've always thought of myself as an in touch type of person, analytical fair, who tries to look at all sides of a situation or problem without rushing to a conclusion in haste. However there are times due to stress, loneliness, fatigue, like many I will lapse and fall prey to my own weaknesses and my better judgment escapes me. About a year and a half ago I met a woman whom at first I developed a close friendship with so I thought. She was going through a divorce needed a sympathetic ear, I obliged. According to her the husband was the worst thing since Attila the UN, you name it… he was the worst. This friendship lasted for several months she came by visited me regularly at my home everything was platonic, until one day she says to me as we're having a couple a glasses of wine "I'm sexually frustrated!" I didn't act on it, but to say the least I was amazed at her revelation and delivery. She started to get personal and began telling me that she wished we had met before her husband because we were so compatible and our outlooks on life were so similar and to her "I was the perfect man" at which I responded very quickly that I was not. As we continued to see one another the accolades kept on coming so was the flirtatious behavior. I was going through some difficult times, my dog of 14 years had just died, I was building home and my girlfriend had just left me. I did succumb, and we started an affair. At the beginning everything was bliss as it always is when any new relationship blossoms. I thought we were one up on everyone else because are love was based on a genuine friendship…my delusion! Slowly things begin to erode. I started to see inconsistencies in her behavior but more prevalent were the lies. They began coming at me as they were shooting out of a machine gun. The biggest one I caught her in was that while I went on a ride (motorcycle) with friends she was to spend the weekend with her (2) brothers who came to see her from California. She would call me everyday give me a detail description of her day and her plans for the next day. After the long weekend she came over told me how it was good to spend that time with her brothers. I was suspicious though, she kept calling me from her cell phone and that phone never was getting good reception from her home also when she visited me after the weekend I noticed her face was wind burned the kind that one gets from being on the back of a bike (her husband had a bike too) I inquired about the burn she said "I was in the sun a lot this weekend". My suspicions were validated a couple of months later when one of her brother told me he had never been to Arizona. Even then when she was confronted with the lie she tried to get out of it by perpetrating another lie this one was also a great one probably even better then the original. It was only by threatening to leave the relationship that she admitted that she had gone to Palm Springs with her husband to make sure there was no chance on saving their marriage. You see when a story is based on a lie there is no story it's just a lie. Same thing when it comes to a relationship when it's based on a lie its imagery perpetrated by us the narcissistic supplier because we now know what we have in our partner, a liar a thief of our goodness that they can never get enough of. Much to our demise they never recognize or appreciate us it's all about them and they're in it for the taking. I could never trust her after that lie, but I was already deeply in Love and tried to see this relationship through but she made it impossible. The perfect man became the flawed man, everything I was doing was subject to criticism or if she wasn't consulted first it wasn't good enough she would have done things differently. I've done well for myself, so she decided that she wanted to take time off from working as and I should take care of her and later when she feels better she'll help me with my business of course I would have to pay her high wages since her contribution will augment my business by the way she would also be living with me at no expense. She always said to me she could live like a popper, I've never seen a popper who drives a brand new Mercedes convertible, as a 25 thousand dollar ring, shops at Nordstrom's, and wears the latest fashions all provided by the ex. She began to play a new game, feeling guilty about leaving her husband in such distress, wondered if it was the "Godly" thing to do. She finally left me went back to her husband. She was gone for approximately ten weeks then re-appeared on my door step begging for forgiveness and implored me to take her back that things would be bliss. She did this several times in the course of a year. My life completely changed I went from a man who was self assured, successful in business, build my own home and had many friends. I was consumed by her, I questioned every move I made, started slacking on my business, and isolated myself from my friends. Someone, I can't recall told me to look up Narcissism. I read books, read every web site on the subject and came to the conclusion that I was a "Supplier". It took several tries but I can claim that I am "Narcissistic free" and no longer contribute to my demise, I kicked her out! For anyone out there who has gone through the hell that narcissism causes do not blame yourself or your partner. There is no shame in loving and wanting to be a friend, a lover, a husband/wife you are who you are and you're a good person for it. As far as your partner is concerned he/she is not in control they are victims of their own plight and are unable to recognize their own demise or the kayos they inflict on the ones whom love them… Remember "You" have a choice "They don't".