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You should tell him that what he is doing badly and discuss possible things that you do that he may or may not like. Why is he refusing to change? Marriage is about compromise, not making someone change to benefit one person. If he is refusing to do what you want because he is uncomfortable with that action then you two should discuss the desired element missing.
I know that some men may not have been with a lot of people and therefore they may think what they are doing is exactly what the partner wants. without being vocal while still being respectful, change can not occur. They do say that people get better with practice. Show him what he is doing "wrong" and show him how to be good.
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