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Mall-core is a genre of metal that is frequently looked-down upon by other types of metal enthusiasts/musicians. Basically, it's mainstream metal, the kind you would see sold in big-name stores. Two mall-core bands I know of are Slipknot and System of a Down.
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∙ 15y ago
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Is the band slipknot a emo band?
No. They are Mallcore
What limp bizkit sing?
Limp Bizkit genrally create music on the borderline of rap-metal, but some people will argue that its pure metal. Nu-metal/rap-metal/mallcore, certainly not pure metal, and no-one who knows about metal will say it is although people who haven't got a clue often do.
Give me a FAQ for living in the same area as Bryan Doherty?
Okay then. Let's get down to business. You want an FAQ on living in the same area as Bryan Doherty? You essentially want answers to questions? Well, I first have a question for you. Why? Why oh why? Why would you even CONSIDER living in the same area or even within several miles of the eminently horrendous Brummie abomination that is...(*sigh*....I shudder and feel slightly nauseous even thinking of his earth-shatteringly scruffy name)....Bryan Doherty? Why? Honestly, you're probably still recovering from hearing the news that you'll be living near him, so now isn't the best time for me to ask that question. Considering you've survived reading his rancid name twice already, I shall assume you are more than thoroughly capable of reading the rest of this FAQ. First, make sure there are no Brummies in the vicinity of your computer, as the pure black humour that irradiates from this article may cause their brain to melt...also, if they're anything like Bryan, they may steal your computer for quick cash. ***Q: What should I do if I see Bryan walking towards me? A: Run. Run for your life. Run as far as running is physically possible. You see, Bryan, being a simple creature, will assume that, as you get further away, that you are shrinking (he thinks he has super-powers and can make people do that), and will idiotically think he is victorious. Watch out, though. Even though you are safe at this point, the Smugness-Field generated from Bryan will irradiate the immediate area for up to 3 days, so consider investing in a travel card. *** Q: What should I do in the event that Bryan corners me? A: Well, we've established that, since you're cornered, you can't run away. If however you were ever the subject of a complex genetic experiment combining a squirrel and a human, then you could utilise your resultant super-fast reflexes and agility to leap from wall to wall and escape successfully. However, this solution is a bit of a long shot, so I would advise the following. Purchase a selection of CDs by awful poseur emo/mallcore bands - My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy for example - which are very popular with Bryan, whose taste in music amounts to less than that of a poisonous Nazi millipede. Take these CDs wherever you go (they're dirt cheap in HMV, put it this way, they're hardly worth much), and when cornered by Bryan, throw them over his shoulder, and he will instantly run to pick up the utterly terrible music CDs and go home to listen to them whilst crying (as I believe he cries often, especially when it is very cold). Bryan will be subdued for a few days while he stays indoors to listen to his favourite bands, which is weird considering he hasn't the money to buy a CD player. The overall downside of this method is that people will see you carrying around CDs of awful emo bands, which no-one wants to be seen carrying unless they want to be branded a huge scene kid. *** Q: What should I do if Bryan's incessant Brummie mumbling (which can be heard several estates away) such as "shmawl", "me buuurd", "uym just sweating" and "lamb of gowwd", keeps me awake late at night? A: Ever heard of a sniper rifle? *** Q: What should I do if the toxicity from Bryan's home infects my water supply? A: Right then. This is very important as it can have serious health implications - in the sense that consumption of a significant amount of the infected water will turn you into a massive Brummie scruff with a speech impediment just like Bryan (and the NHS will probably deny you treatment, which they seem to be a doing a lot lately, eh, eh? *note: this WikiAnswer may contain current topical material*). Now, we must destroy the infection at its source. Use your "1337 h4x0r" skills to get into the military's computer system (Bryan won't know what hit him because he isn't even aware the internet exists. He thinks it is just a myth like fairies, and leprechauns, and Russell T Davies' story resolution abilities). Activate a nuclear missile and set its destination to Bryan's "house". The missile, if not scared off by Bryan's unpredictably bad hairstyles, will destroy him and his home, erasing the source of the infection. However, radioactive fallout from the missile may leak into the water supply instead, causing you to grow extra limbs and bleed from all orifices (yes, INCLUDING down below), but this is a lot better than drinking the Brummie-infected water that was there before. *** Q: What should I do if I am a female, and therefore am at risk of becoming Bryan's feared "burd"? A: Though Bryan may seem unflappable when it comes to getting his prized "burd", he is easier to repel than you think. First of all, don't share any of his qualities or tastes (which is fairly simple as all his tastes are a bit worse than racism, and no right-minded individual could be into the same things he's into - mallcore bands, scruffy clothes, bad hairstyles, lack of hygiene etc....) and he won't instantly think you're the perfect burd for him. To deliver the final blow, tell him that Bon Jovi aren't a good band - even though they are, this technique is believed to make Bryan cry, as proven in a GCSE Maths lesson several years ago. After this, Bryan will NEVER want you to be his burd. Also, you'll have the bonus of laughing at him as he runs away crying, the tears making his already greasy hair greasier. Q: Will living in the same area as Bryan Doherty bring ANY benefits whatsoever? A: Despite all of the risks, Bryan is always great as a source of cheap laughs, as shown in this article. Starting up rumours about him (like "He's got swine flu" or "He's got a tattoo of Elton John" or "His anus is higher up his back than most people so he consequently has to lie down to use the toilet") is entertaining. Taking pictures of him and editing them in Photoshop bring joy to millions, as proven by many a Facebook phenomenon. His hair, when it is long and plentiful (such as it was in his mid-era, also known as the "Proper-Goff" era), makes a very valuable, yet greasy material that textile companies will pay high prices to buy and make into mops and toilet brushes, so this is a quick money-maker for you to consider if you are willing to cut it off him while he sleeps. He is also an excellent subject for any sort of practical jokes i.e. knock-a-door-dash, water bombs, brutal rape and murder. He is also a source of constant optimism, as, no matter how bad your life can get, you can always look at that cardboard house in the distance, coated in dust and dirt, caught in a sort a storm of bad hygiene, disease and Birmingham, and think to yourself, "At least I'm not Bryan Doherty." *** Thank you. I hope this FAQ has calmed the concerns of any tennants (not the David kind, that is) who are in Bryan Doherty's area. Although, speaking of David Tennant, here is a message relayed from his exact words to all people in Bryan's area: "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."And here is a message to Bryan Doherty if he is reading: "Take that stolen computer back to wherever you stole it from, you Brummie scruff."
