What is methanic acid?

Answer 1

Methanic acid is an intensely corrosive substance which exists in gaseous form. It was first discovered and named by the famous chemical engineer, Professor T. Hewitt from the university of PST (Phwoar Smell That) in Loisville Kentucky. Professor Hewitt graduated with honours in odour studies and majored in flammable human gas. He first discovered this highly flammable, stinky gas after eating one and a half subway foot-long subs and 2 tins of baked beans. (Bet he wished there were no naked flames around that day). After being released from hospital, he instigated intense investigations into this previously unknown gas. Methanic acid has the remarkable ability to turn clean copper pipe black within hours. It can reduce an air conditioner to dust within a couple of years. The aroma of methanic acid can be quite disturbing and when concentrated can produce vomiting in humans. Methanic acid is usually produced at sewerage treatment plants to destroy all metallic objects within a 1km radius. Methanic acid has been known to curl nose hairs in nasally weak humans. Prolonged exposure has been known to cause social isolation of the exposed subject due to the release of absorbed methanic acid from the skin and the subject's diminished sense of smell. Professor T. Hewitt is the only recognised expert on this little known substance and has spent extensive time researching this putrid gas. His most famous quote is "watch out for the methanic acid!". This is a timely warning for all of the human race!