What is the best way to disarm your ex-narcissist that would flaunt a new relationship in his face?

Answer 1

The best thing to do is "IGNORE" him! I am still in the same house with my narcissist husband. I just got served yesterday. I've never done anything to him, except withdrawing from him because I slowly learned what he is. We don't have kids, thank goodness. I am more pissed off at myself for not seeing it years ago, before he drained me financially, before I invested my heart and soul into the relationship, only to get nothing in return. If you still have feelings for him, you really need to see someone and find out why you allow yourself to be in a relationship that sucks the life from you. Which is exactly what a narcissist does to people in his life, especially his mate. His first wife ended up in the psych ward. Now, I know why. Too bad for him, this time he met his match. I will never allow some man bring me down. I am much stronger minded than she was able to be. I really have no feelings for him at this time. Which benefits me because my Poker face is real. I couldn't care less about what he says. I think of him as a robot, without feelings, because that is exactly what he is. He's on a never-ending mission to devalue and discard me now that I don't give him the adulation and praise he needs to survive. You have to accept the fact that anything that says is only to preserve his false sense of self. That he is some wonderful, upstanding guy. He's a robot fraud inside a human body. He is incapable of true feelings and has not one bit of empathy, remorse or guilt. Once I am outta here, I know we will run into each other. I plan to be myself, fun-loving, geniune and honest. And if he is in the vicinty, I wouldn't give him a second glance.......all the while knowing.......it will be killing him that I have moved on......too bad for the next victim......there will be more.....unfortunately we all have to learn for overselves whom to trust with our heart........I definitely have learned a lot!!! Answer What I did was this and it worked like a charm: When you seem them act bored. Don't look their way after saying a casual hi. Don't stick around, but make your exit in a casual and timely manner to keep your dignity. Don't act like it bothers you at all. Act as though you really don't notice. Try and laugh with others but don't over do it. I guarantee he will be left wondering whats going on. ESPECIALLY if you were somewhat jealous in the relationship and or he knew you had insecurities. He will wrack his brain with wondering if you met someone BETTER who is giving you great sex. He will think wow shes over me. He will PANIC!!!! Believe me. Don't ask anyone about who the new person he is with. Don't look at her. She may tell him. If you are forced to talk to her, act very friendly but casual. Don't ask any questions, just talk about the weather or somthing. Cause he may ask her what you said and when she tells him you were nice and didn't ask any questions, this will make his head spin. Remember N's hate to be shown indifference!!! Please let me know how this goes okay as I am going to have to see my ex soon and i have to act this way too again....its hard, but be consistent in this approach. Another thing, if you feel jealous. Just tell yourself this is his pathetic attempt to win you back. He don't have the balls to act like a normal man, which would be too admit his mistakes, get help and treat you good. He has to go by this approach which is a game. He wants you back but doesn't want to appear like a fool. Think of this new lady as him almost carrying a sign that says, "please I'm begging, come back". See this for what its worth, a game. My N even admitted he used games to win me back as he thought i would become bored with him!!!! Sad eh, when really I loved him all along and their was no need for it. Why waste your energy? A narcissist could care less what you think because they believe they are "god" and you're nothing! So, you can play all the tricks in the book and it won't do you one bit of good. Kick this waste of skin to the curb and move on. I loooove the first answer to this one. You see i am in a situation that i HAVE to deal with an N because we work together. The same dilemma. I rejected his advances because i flat out did not trust him. (little things, like his WIFE calling me up) He proceeded to stab me in back, give me silent treatment and tell co-workers lies about me. He found a hottie at work half his age to screw and flaunt in front of me. Meanwhile i got involved in a real relationship with his boss. I did not flaunt that so much in front of him cause i know word of mouth would get out. 6 months later. Boss no longer works there but we are still going strong. The co-workers he tried to turn against me figured him out, we are all friends and now NO ONE trusts him at work. I still have to deal with N daily. Mostly ignoring him completely and doing the same things EXACTLY the way first answer advised. Indifferent to him. Being nice and polite to HER. She now works in a department store that my beau and I shop at frequently. It makes her nervous when i approach her at the checkout (god knows what hes doing to her) but i just smile and behave as if she is a friendly acquaintance and DONT bring him up. Basically you get on with your life and behave as if he does not exist. if you have to deal with him pretend he is a stranger on the street. Be neutral and polite. But do not respond to him unless you absolutely have to. Don't give him the time of day or even discuss the weather. They will try to reel you in with innocent conversation, hang around at just the right time to "bump" into you. Mine would go out of his way to clock out then walk by my office on way home just to see if i would "notice" him. This went on for several weeks. No one else was around and i would not say ANYTHING to him, not even glance. A couple times when i would clock out first he hung out by the time clock and alone he initiates an "innocent" conversation as if nothing happens. I just ignore him completely and don't respond at all. I can just FEEL the uneasiness about him. He gets all quiet and sulks for days not even looking in my direction. trust me THE best and ONLY way to disarm a narcissist is to ignore them. NO matter what he says and does. Act as if he does not exist. that is his greatest fear. To not BE. He will feel empty and worthless inside. It really gets to them. It really does.