How do you make new marriage successful?

Answer 1

I'd say you're one bright person and it's refreshing to hear someone ask that question.

I've been married almost 35 years and more important than sex is COMMUNICATION. My husband I take an hour off for each other when he gets home from work and he'll have a wine or perhaps tea with me and we talk over our day. If there are problems we work through them together. If we get angry with each other we separate and either go to another room of the house or get out of the house (and walk it off) to cool off. The main thing is not to expect perfection. There is nothing in this world that is perfect and all you can do is the best you can.

Both partners should take care of themselves physically as far as hygiene and not looking like one was just tossed out of a laundry bag. A pair of jeans, nice top (even a nice T-shirt) a little make-up, hair brushed, etc., during the week is fine and when you go out to a party or a nice evening out on the weekend your clothes don't have to be expensive to look good on you. This applies to both partners. My husband and I have a "grub day" where he doesn't shave (but is clean) wears old jeans and an old T-shirt (one of his many favorites) and I may not wear make-up and wear comfy jeans and a sweat top.

When a young couple decides on starting a family they should discuss that they both need to apply themselves with the babysitting, getting up off and on during the night, agreeing on the discipline of the child and trading off with friends to babysit so you and your husband can have a Saturday night out for some fun.

Try to take a holiday once a year even if it's a mini weekend at the beach and not that far from where you live. Don't lose touch with each other, but still have "head space" from each other such as you having hobbies or going out with your friends or your partner doing the same thing.

........................................

I have to just add this because while it is good advice it seems too boring and vague. I have been with the same man since I was 17 years old and then married at 24 and we are celebrating our 22 year anniversary this year. Communication along with a sense of security and love is the most important thing to a woman and sex along with a loving and caring wife is the most important to the man. Our marriage has been a sea of ups and downs and it is weathering those downs that keeps us together. We have both made mistakes and at times we have both been bad spouses to each other but you have got to be creative and find ways to reinvent your relationship. Every once in a while I feel insecure and am just a giant "B" to be honest and every once in a while he starts really taking for granted that I am here and a person with feelings. I have to say that whether you are the man or woman in the relationship that you must be willing to make the first move or be able to eat crow on many occasions. I have reached out to hold his hand in the car or said "I am sorry" more times then not when I truly believed I was right in the argument. The rewards of this out way anything you can find outside the marriage. There will always be a more attractive or more exciting man or woman out there but it is making things new and exciting in your relationship that keeps the spouse at home and the relationship healthy.

I sometimes get into a rut and sex is not that exciting to me and I look at him and I wonder "what am I doing here?". I then just flood myself with good music, the kind that gets you pumped, I buy something that makes me feel good, like a new pair of sexy jeans or some new perfume. I build myself up with some "attitude" and say "I am sexy, I want to make him want me" then the games begin and pretty soon we are out of that rut and it is red hot again. If I left it up to him it would just not happen and this can go both ways. It really depends on who in the relationship is more aggressive. They are the one who needs to make the first moves or perhaps swallow the pride more often then the other who may be happy to continue with the downward status quo.

I am NOT one for being the perfect house wife and being at everyone's beck and call. A powerful, sexy, independent, woman who is not afraid to go in uninhibited and take good care of her man will keep her man. Or a man that has it all for his woman. The key to this is to make sure you are communicating that this "attitude" is for your spouse and no one else. Be a great cook but be even better in bed! Make it fun, exciting, do something a little different, surprising. Keep a few ideas to yourself for the years to come when things get a bit flat again. I sometimes cruise the internet for some new ideas, ways to do something different and fun.

I truly listen to him and I want him to be happy. We fight with passion but I let him know that it is a fight, a small moment in time and we allow each other to be angry with each other but I try and never let it go too far. Not everyone can control their anger and not everyone can always follow the rules of not going to bed angry. The key is to make it up to them as soon as you can after the fight. You should strive in your relationship to get phone calls where they say "WOW, I can not get last night out of my head!" Those will carry you through the bad times which there will be plenty of with each year you are together.

Answer 2

It takes both the husband and wife working together to make the marriage work. They need to balance each other's shortcomings and excesses. They need to compromise. A one-sided marriage won't last for long. If a problem comes up that is too difficult for one partner to handle, the other partner is there to offer help.

Answer 3

To make a marriage work, God has to be the center. It will also take hard work, honesty and forgiveness from both sides.

Answer 4

Many things in common. Similar personalities, likes, dislikes. Similar aims and goals. Good sexual relationship as a basis for the other characteristics of the marriage.

Answer 5

alway do what the wife says that is why you never get married

Answer 6

Children