Asked in RelationshipsBreakupsDating
What should you do if your 32-year-old boyfriend is very immature and is constantly drinking and being obnoxious but you don't want to break up with him or cheat on him?
July 27, 2017 10:04AM
I can sure understand what you are saying. I also admire you for wanting to do something about this problem and not cheating on him. You DO sound very mature. When I was in my mid-twenties I found guys in their early 30s more immature than some guys in their mid to late 20s. Doesn't matter what your birthday is, you can still be immature at any age. I ended up meeting and marrying a sweet, mature guy who was almost 4 years younger than me. No one likes an obnoxious drunk on their hands, and one day it could turn physical, either with you or friends. I was surprised to learn when reading an article by a doctor that some people can be allergic to alcohol. In some cases some people are hooked on it. You are going to have to pick a time when he's sober and then lay the law down! Tell him how obnoxious he gets when he drinks. You can bet the first thing out of his mouth is, "I can control it. I can take it or leave it ." This is when you tell him to "leave it!" Of course, the truth of the matter is, for many of us, that we enjoy that "buzz" from alcohol when we're out, but some people just don't seem to know when enough is enough. Let him know you'll leave him if he doesn't smarten up. If you don't you'll only become an "enabler." See if he can back off from the booze and act more civil, or, if he doesn't leave! You don't want to hang around with someone with an alcohol problem. Some terrible things have been done by people who have said, "I didn't know what I was doing I was drunk!" I don't buy that for a second and the only way you can get this bad is if you take booze and pop social drugs at the same time. You can also join "Al-anon" which is a group for people who live with alcoholics. Although your boyfriend may not be a true alcoholic yet he's heading there on a fast track. It teaches you tools to use when dealing with a person with a drinking problem. In each of us, if we aren't willing to help ourselves with a certain problem, then we shouldn't expect our family, friends and mates to hang around while we decide what is best. When I was younger up until my early 40s I partied too, drank, and sometimes had too much, but I can never say I didn't know what was going on to some degree. Good luck Marcy
Answer also: Recipognize that you cannot change a person or their behavior. This exerpt was taken from an article on Jehovah's Witnesses official website. I hope it helps: While certain people may be physically prone to alcohol addiction, emotional factors also appear to be involved. In fact, many alcoholics often harbor negative feelings about themselves. (Proverbs 14:13) Some of them, in fact, grew up in families where their own parents were alcoholics. For such people, drinking may numb the pain of childhood emotional scars. The same factors might be involved when a person is addicted to drugs.
Of course, drinking or taking drugs only compounds a person's problems; his thinking and emotions now become even more warped. That's why your boyfriend may need considerable help from a trained professional to break free from his addiction.