Breakups

What should you do if your ex married in a rebound 5 months after your breakup and after a year of healing and the pain is semi-healed you still love each other?

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2005-09-21 11:27:55
2005-09-21 11:27:55

We all do foolish things, but now there is a 3rd person's feelings here so you and your ex must tread carefully. I personally don't think either of you have the first clue as to what love is. Most people will argue, shout, slam out of the house, stay away for weeks or months, but few rush off to get married unless they've had someone on the side all along. People that love each other can be super angry at one another, but, they go off and cool off and don't get married. Sounds like you had a real rough ride the first time around with him, so what makes you think it will be different now? If he has told his wife about what is happening and wants a divorce, then the worst is over (feel badly for the other girl) and if you both are insistant about being together at least take it slow and easy and take at least a year to get to know each other once again. My bet is, neither of you have learned much in this past year. Sorry to be crude, rude, and to the point, but you gotta feel sorry for this other woman. Whether your ex comes back to you it's obvious he's not staying with her. My ex and I have spoken only once since his marriage. This is how I know we still love each other. We're not seeing each other. He is married and he plans to hold up his vows, as far as I know. I saw a counselor after this breakup. He said that after a breakup, regardless of the person who ended the relationship, is vulnerable. He said in his many years of practice he has seen this type of rebound marriage many times. He also said, after the breakup and both are vulnerable, you can meet a manipulative person who can tap into your vulnerability. We had a 5 1/2 yr. loving relationships, the last 9 months of those yrs. were not good due to me changing my job, moving, selling my house, and going through just a lot of life changes. As much as I still love him, I don't think I would reunite. I want a healthy relationship with an emotionally healthy heart. This just has been a horrible event because if I had to do those last 9 months over again, I don't think I could do them differently. He told me during those last months of how lonely he was because I was not putting him first.

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