What should you do to make sure the first time does not hurt that much if you are 13 years old and in love and want to have sex?

I know you are asking what you can do to make sure it does not hurt as much physically, but there is a much greater hurt that can result from having sex at your age. In fact there are two. The first is that you could become pregnant like my niece did. If that happens, you would have two choices: end the life of the child by having an abortion or have the child. Either choice will change your life forever. I know if my niece was writing this, she would tell you to wait to have sex until you are older. She was with a boy that she loved and that loved her, but they ended up going their separate ways. At 13, life has a way of changing very quickly, and having sex for the first time is a major decision. When my niece returned to school after having her daughter, nothing was the same. She ended up leaving her high school and finished by attending adult education classes. Her social life was ruined, she had the responsibility of raising her child, and she lost out on her own childhood. Okay, so you could use contraceptives or have "protected" sex. That doesn't guarantee that you will not become infected with a sexually transmitted disease. Even if you don't get a STD or become pregnant, the chances that you are going to stay with the boy you love now are very slim. If your life goes the way most do, you will have several boyfriends by the time you graduate from high school. If you have sex with every boy you love from now until then, it will most likely be 5, 6, 7 or more. I know you are thinking that won't happen because you love the boy you are with now. Only time will tell, and loving a boy certainly doesn't mean that you have to have sex with him, especially at the young age of 13. Before you decide, please consider the greater pain that you could cause yourself than just the physical pain of "the first time." Deb *I totally agree 100% with Deb. At 13 you are simply a child yourself and have so much of your life ahead of you. Sex is suppose to be a beautiful experience and not one that is cheapened and makes you feel dirty inside and out. NEVER let anyone coerce you into having sex too early. You are in total control of yourself even at 13. If your boyfriend won't wait around until you are ready to have a sexual relationship then he has no idea what love truly is. You haven't even begun to consider safe sex, or the diseases you can get by unprotected sex such as Herpes, AIDS, HIV and on and on it goes. I think you're one smart girl and have been thinking of this problem and know truly in yourself you weren't really ready for sex. Listen to Deb because she said it all in a nut shell. Marcy