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I am so sorry you are going through this and can imagine what a shock this is for you. I am sure you have been suspicious of your husband a few times in those 4 years, but, I doubt you ever thought he had children you didn't know about. We take our marriage vows and they are there for a reason and it's just not the religious concept "before the eyes of God", but also to each other. Your husband has forgotten about those vows and has deeply hurt you not to mention disrespecting your feelings. You can do one of two things: If he's been good to you, you feel he's made a mistake and was too chicken to own up to cheating and he isn't seeing this woman any longer but hanging around because of the child, then you have the control of forgiving him. However, realize that he should be paying child support and that can put pressure on your finances in your marriage. Or, you can walk right out of the marriage and file for divorce. I wouldn't blame you. As much as it hurts you this man has been cheating for 4 years! Now he has a child. He should have been thinking of the both of you and the working towards a future for the both of you. To cheat on the person you are suppose to love is the lowest and most unforgiveable thing you can do. If people fall out of love or don't get along the honest thing is to at least get a separation to decide if you want a divorce. Sometimes during a separation people mature more and they may get back together. In your case, it's obvious he has broken your heart so how could you ever trust him again. My own opinion is, I would kick his butt out that door! Get a separation and give yourself time to decide if you want a divorce or not (give it at least 6 months) or, if he says he loves this other woman, file for divorce right away. I would see a lawyer first to see what your rights are regarding material things such as a house, furniture and if you should be paid anything (if you aren't working) and custody of any children and of course child support. Good luck hon Marcy It's a personal decision. Some factors to consider: 1. Are you both committed to each other? 2. Can you live with the other woman and the child in your life (even if you don't want to, the child will continue to be part of the mix). 3. He may be obligated to pay child support. How will that financially impact your lives? 4. Your ages. If you are young, starting over is easier (not that any of this is easy), than if you have invested many years in the relationship. 5. Are you willing/ able to go through counseling? 6. Is this the last straw or the first?

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โˆ™ 2006-03-27 20:23:45
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Q: What should you do when you just found out that your husband has been cheating on you for 4 years and has a child with the other woman?
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Should you have your husband tested after you found out he was cheating on you?

yes, there could be big health risks if you did not, for you and him

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This is because his conscience is killing him.

What should i do if i found out that my best friends boyfriend is cheating on her?

You should tell your friend that he is cheating its best that she knows.

What if your partner thinks you are cheating but you are not?

I have found that the accuser should be the accusee. Meaning they are cheating and have a guilty conscience.

Can you sue your husband when you found out he has a child in her mistress?

no you cant sorry

When should love be removed from your decision to end a relationship due to lies and cheating?

the moment you found out that he was cheating on you

Use the word anymore in a sentence?

When she found out her husband was cheating on her, she didn't care about the relationship anymore and filed for divorce.

What is the right thing to do if you found out that your husband is cheating on you?

Normally, the best advice is you break it off with him, but since he's your husband, that's going to be really difficult. If you feel that he is cheating on you not only physically, but emotionally, divorcing him may be a good option. If you have children, consider talking it out with your husband and make a deal. Frankly, men (especially husbands) who cheat should get a good taste of reality. You can't always have it both ways.

I found out my dad is cheating on my mom but he doesn't know I know what should I do?

If you found out that your dad is cheating on your mom, but he does not know that you have discovered the same, simply share the issue with a friend of your mom.

My husband talk to this girl behind my back every night i just found out about it. is this cheating?

No cheating is when he goes to bed with her. There is nothing wrong with talking to people of either sex even if you are talking about sex.

For the past week iv been having pregnancy dreams and i gave birth only once and named him Nick then my dream flashd to 'my' wedding were i found the husband cheating on me. what does ALL this mean?

it could possibly be meaning that your husband is cheating and has gotten another woman pregnant.

What do a wife do if she suspects her husband is cheating?

See if you could get some proof of cheating. Perhaps you can call some numbers you've found on his phone. When you do, figure out what you'd like to do from there. You would have to decide if you want to stay with him knowing what you do.

How would a wife feel and what should she do if she accidentally found out her spouse has a different bank account with a woman's name on it?

Just because your husband has a bank account with another woman's name on it doesn't necessarily mean that he has been cheating. It could well be a relative such as an aunt or someone else in the family who needs assistance in their finances. If you know the full name of the woman then check it out first by looking in the phone directory to see if her name is there or, hire a detective for those times your husband is not around and may be cheating before accusing your husband of cheating. If you cannot find out who this woman is then confront your husband calmly to find out who it is on the joint account. If it is another woman or he gets angry you know then he probably is cheating and you will have to make your future decision on this.

What are some reasons that people are getting divorced?

some people are getting a divorce because there both getting beaten on or they are fighting with each other or u the wife is finding that your husband is cheating or you the husband found out that you wife is cheating on another man so that's why people are getting a divorce today?

What should I do when my husband texted another woman over 1000 times in one month he denies cheating but I don't believe him?

If you know your husband has texted this other woman a great deal then you must have read some of the emails. If there was no incriminating evidence in those emails with regards to them cheating perhaps they were not. If you have found not found the evidence and kept a few copies of those texts then you have no real proof. If this woman lives in the same town or city then the only way you can prove for sure your husband is cheating is by hiring a detective. Interview investigators and see what their price range is. Generally one weekend of an investigator following your husband should prove one way or the other if he is truly cheating on you with this woman. If you cannot afford an investigator then decide when you think he is seeing this woman (generally on weekends or working late at the office) and ask a girlfriend if she will join you to follow your husband in your friend's car to get the proof you need.

What would you do if you found out your husbands mistress has a child with the woman he had the affair with?

i would tell the husband its 'me or her' and let him choose!!

How do you deal with the fact that your husband just found out he has another child from a previous girlfriend?

If neither one of you knew and he received a suprise that he is a father to another child..what can u do?'s not the child's fault...and i think he should take responsibility for this child and you as his wife or girlfriend should allow him to do so. It's only what you would want him to do if you were the other woman.

Can you sue your ex not husband because he was married to someone and lied to you about it and lived with you and his wife at the same time when i found out i ofcourse kicked him out we have a child?

Youi can very well sue your ex husband , even if you have child,if he has lied and already got a wife and child , you can file a case against him.

What should you do if you found out your husband has been cheating on you for 4 years and has a child with her?

approach him and tell him you know, this isn't just a sex relationship, this is him clearly abusing your trust in him. Stand up, tell him you want him out, and don't take no for an answer. Make sure this "other woman" knows of you too, she has the right to know if he has been lying to her as well. This man is scum, and has no respect for your feelings, be aware that he will probably end up going to her, and cheating on her too! Good luck, and try and be strong, you deserve much better than this.

You found out your boyfriend has another girlfriend what should you do?

Dump the cheater. He obviously is not interested in how you feel - regardless of his justification for cheating.

If you found a text message of a female in her undergarments and lustful words sent back to her by your Husband Is that cheating?

Only one way to find out. Ask him. Dig deeper into it, and wait for results.

I been married for 3 years and found out last year when I was pregnant that I had an STD I told my husband about but he acted like it wasnt a big deal?

Well, if you are the one cheating on your husband he needs to get checked. But if he is the one cheating he still needs to get checked to see if he has any STD's. You both need to go to counseling. He is not being honest with you. Good luck and God Bless:)

What should you think if you found numbers locked in your wife's cell phone?

Second-guessing your spouse is the worst thing you can do. Many people lock important numbers into their cell phone and I've done it, but I'm sure not cheating on my husband. I can never understand why people simply don't have better communication skills as it would make their lives far less complicated. One night while you are sitting around with your wife ask her why she locks those numbers in. If she wonders if you are accusing her of cheating simply say "No, but I just wondered why it was such a good idea to do so." Don't accuse ANYONE of anything until you have the facts. If you have good reason to believe she is cheating then you can follow her one night. I did this with my first husband and found out he was cheating and that's when I lowered the boom! Good luck!

What's going on if your husband had an affair 2 years ago and you just found out that he has been calling another woman that had an affair on her husband but he said they are just good friends?

He could be telling the truth, but he should have learned from his mistakes the first time. It doesn't matter if this woman's husband is cheating on her or not ... she has girlfriends to talk too and doesn't need your husband! After all, he's the male and she's a female and isn't that how cheating starts, just friends. Think about it! Tell him to lose the friend! If he doesn't like it, tell him the next step you plan he won't like even more and that's leaving! Good luck Marcy

Husband and wife are separated the husband just found out that his wife had a child what rights does the husband have to birth and medical records through hospital?

Absolutely none. The medical and birth records can only be shared with the birth mother and father, despite the situation.