What to do if you in love with your dead husband's friend?

Answer 1

I to, was widowed at 28yrs old, my husband was taken from me way too young and we had our whole lives ahead of us. I had a lot of support from family & friends but one person in particular that was always around for me was one of my husbands friends. After 7 months since the passing of my husbands death, i started to grow feelings for him and one night of weakness led me to kissing him, and he kissed me back. Initially causing some confusion on both parts, we spent the next week doing some serious thinking. To me, he would allow me to speak freely about my husband & share fond memories about him, he wasnt somebody that would come into my life and change it, he was someone that could adapt to my life as it were, he acknowledged and respected my continued love & loyalty toward my husband and was willing to share that with me. The only thing i needed to figure out was whether my new feelings were real? Convenient? Or just a passing need for comfort that i had longed for. Taking this into account i decided to wait until all of the firsts had occured & the anniversary of my husbands passing had been and gone. Were my feelings stronger? It has now been 13 months since my husband passed away, i swear it feels like my love for him just continues to grow, i have times where i burst into tears and want him back. My husbands friend has stayed close by throughout this time and i will admit, my feelings for him dod grow stronger too... I am in love with 2 men at the same time! But i am ok with this, he is ok with this and we are ready to develop a relationship together. What we both mutually agreed on however, is to abstain from announcing it until 6mnths has passed. It may be a little to do with our anxieties about "what people will think" but the primary reason is to give it half a year to establish and see if we are right for eachother. I would hate to announce it, cause a fuss, then we dont make it for long, this could cause further damage with family n friends. Personally, i cant wait to express my fondness for my new guy around people, he has put the smile back on my face. In closing, i suggest if you do have feelings for your deceased husbands friend, let him know, if he doesnt return the feelings you can move on from it, but if he does feel the same way, apart from making sure you're doing it for the right reasons, GO FOR IT! You and I both deserve to be happy! Good luck!