When is the abuse bad enough to leave?

Answer 1

You are experiencing severe emotional and verbal abuse. You should leave him now. - the sooner the better. Since physical abuse can be close behind verbal, you should take yourself and the children to a safe place without notice to him. All the other stuff can be sorted out later. If he travels, it is easier to pack up and to get the banking sorted out. (I did leave this way; rented an apartment and took the kids. I could not afford the house, so just had movers take basic furniture.) You will be making a better life for the kids by not remaining in this situation. Kids learn by what they see.

Answer Thanks for the answer. I think I knew that. Somehow my original note was erased. So here goes again incase anyone else has some advice. I have been married for 14 years. The abuse is verbal and emotional, not physical. He is a respected professional. We have two children, the youngest has autism, the older a lesser form of autism. They are both in school now. I had to quit my job to take care of their many needs. Even though they are in school, caring for them is still a full time job. My husband says I live off of him. He calls me f**king idiot, dimwit, etc. He has left me at hospitals multiple times because I have Asthma and he gets aggravated when I am ill. I had to have a hysterectomy this past fall and almost died. A week later he went to Vegas for work. He has threatened to strangle me in the past. Now he says he finally gets that all that was wrong. He says he'll go to therapy and change. I am so tired I just want him to leave. I am forty and caring for my kids takes all my energy. I just can't deal with this anymore, but he says divorce will be too hard on them. Any other thoughts about how I should handle this. Thanks everyone Answer If you are not happy in the relationship and there is a constant feeling of resentment towards him,if you are out of love with him and you no longer respect him and care for him.Also his happiness and sadness doesn't affect you anymore then I feel that u should not invest any more in this relationship.Its not worth it.Jst WALK OUT of it.I know it will be very hard but then you have to take a call sometime.I hope that u do find peace and happiness. Answer When you are afraid for your life. Just the fact that you are asking the question should be the answer. It is best to leave BEFORE your life is threatened. Here are some tips: Start prepacking at least half of your clothing and keep them at a family member's house. Take ONLY what you need to survive, you can always rebuy anything that was bought before. Make sure that your name is not on any bills or joint accounts. Set up a code with a family member or friend to call casually to mean "I need out NOW." Example: "How is your dog doing?" (In reallity, they don't have a dog.) Have someone else pick up the kids from school so they are safe while you go to the "doctor's office." Go to a women's shelter.