Why ar my parents nice to me one minute and then angry with me the next I just don't understand and it makes me sad?

Answer 1

Many parents are not very mature. It's normal that the actions of a child sometimes irritate parents, but it doesn't mean that they cannot communicate in a responsible way about it. If your parents are unpredictable and seem to overreact to you, consider some of these possibilities:

- they might be under stress because of problems at work and problems in their own relationship, and you are the safest person to express frustration to (many people feel safe to express anger to a child, which they don't feel safe to express elsewhere). In that case, even simple mistakes of a child can provoke exaggerated reaction.

- they might be reacting to memories from their own childhood. If you remind them of somebody from their past they had problems with - siblings, cousins, even their own parents - they might unconsciously confuse you with that other person and feel unresolved emotions from past as if you were the one causing them.

- they might be imitating their own parents. Most people when they become parents, imitate the model of parenthood they are most familiar with - their own parents. Perhaps they were treated the same way and it feels normal to them.

- perhaps they never fully grew up emotionally and are not able to feel responsibility for their emotional behavior.

- perhaps they have a chronic inner conflict (two or more dramatically different parts of personality that take turns coming out). This also depends of how they were brought up.

All together, keep in mind that they do not always react to you, even if they think they do. Of course, your behavior is probably not always perfect either, but mature parents know how to communicate and negotiate in friendly ways.