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Why do you fall in love?

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2010-11-09 00:39:22
2010-11-09 00:39:22

I know I'm acting a little childish but in my opinion I think that love is stupid, so there I said it.

A.you can answer your question by asking yourself why do I love this person and not another? Or what love is not.. If you love somebody because he can make you popular is that love? if you kill, because of love of country, is that love? If you love because he can provide you security, is that love? If you blow yourself up because you love God, is that love? You asked, why do we fall in love? Different people of different social, religious, cultural, national, race, etc., conditioning will have different answer. The answer then to your question, can be answered by you and you alone... A.I think it - in part, perhaps - is an inborn desire for completion as a human being; a need to perfect ourselves, if you will.

We are attracted to the other by that which captures our fancy, fickle though it may be.

As we grow in our knowledge of the other, we become attracted by that which mirrors ourselves, which pleases us; but we also are attracted to something else:

What we are really seeking from that other person is that which we lack.

If we see in the other - what we instinctively but only subconsciously know - what we need to make us complete, we will love and cherish and revere that other above all else, perhaps to the total sublimation or even negation of our selves, going so far as to even give one's life to protect the other.

And love evolves, it changes, it changes each in ways that each do not fully understand, perhaps not even recognising the change affected. (We hear from those who know us, "You're different. You've changed."

I believe that we fall in love with the other with the idea of what they can add to our existence. Emotionally, mentally, physically; all our needs, needs provided by the other, for love is quite a bit about need fulfillment.

We stay in love with the other because we believe they are providing the improvement in our lives, providing the same sort of thing for their lives.

And then, on the way to the forum, funny things happen: sexual love diminishes, romantic love declines, the need to need, the need to be needed, both become replaced by a love that values the other merely for the other's sake alone.

All I really know is this:

Love cradles you as you cry for joy. It wrings you as it makes you cry out in anguish.

It bends you, it caresses you, it makes you and it breaks you, and yet, and yet, there is nothing, no THING that is as exquisite, as thrilling as the knowledge of loving and being loved.

How strange and wonderful love truly is.

Somewhere there waiteth in this world of ours for one lone soul another lonely soul, Each choosing each through all the weary hours, And meeting strangely at one sudden goal, Then blend they, like green leaves with golden flowers. Into one beautiful perfect whole; And life's long night is ended, and the way lies open onward to eternal day. - Edwin Arnold

A.Love is a choice. An everyday choice. You can love instantly."falling in love", but it remains a choice you make. You cannot "fall" out of love. A.pheromone's on the brain. A.Its human nature really. There is no definite answer to this question..Its one of those questions where you think you know the answer but aren't really sure how to explain it. A.It's not just an animalistic tendency so two people can have children and populate the world. We must be attracted to each other, and, there is proof all around us that some people simply don't find that special someone or prefer not to be married and have children, yet are loving and caring individuals.

Most humans need one another. We need the feeling of belonging, being loved (it starts from birth) and there is always someone there to lean on. Sometimes we make mistakes choosing a mate, but there are times we do find the right mate.

It's true that love changes as you get older. I've been married for 35 years. When young there are stars in your eyes, heart pounding and you can hardly wait to see each other. Because of youth you have vitality and feel free as the wind. It's fun in the sun, but time is short for youthful pander and it's gone in the blink of an eye. Then as we get older and have been through ups and downs in the marriage the successful marriages feel a new kind of love. They are strong and wise in character and become closer soul wise. They cherish each other even though the love isn't as starry eyed as it was during youth. You trust each other and are best friends. You can laugh, cry together and hold each other tight. You have the feeling that together you can beat the world! It's just like one big bottle of fine wine!
because everything is roses and all of a sudeen you become stupid and fall.

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