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Why do you feel so bad for having left your narcissist?


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Answered 2011-09-13 14:10:32

Breaking up with anyone, whether it be a boyfriend or a husband of 25 years, is indeed a loss, and normal trauma dealing with such is likely to occur. However, if you feel sad or even remorseful for leaving someone in such poor psycological condition, then you are probably a "nice" person, and have your own [desirable] behavioral patterns of normally wanting to help, see the good, etc... This is perhaps even why your N chose you to draw narcissistic supply from in the first place! Your empathy for a character such as the narcissist are natural, as you want to nuture and love a bird with a broken wing. However, your efforts will be futile, and this is a good time to excersize your grace and elegance and just leave your compassion behind you.

AnswerSo.. here�s my guess. 1. Even if you didn�t get love � you were giving it�. Loads of it.. so there�s a way that the time you spent with your N was sort of� well .. it vaguely reminds you of love. 2. After all that time with that person making you feel like crap�like they were the best thing that ever happened to you.. like you would be nothing without them.. you probably internalized a lot of that. 3. When that true face comes out to play.. it�s ground shifting.. makes you question who you were (and who you were with) all that time. 4. And also... they are really terrifying! Some of that's just (very apprpriate) fear. I just made that break (after so many times of feeling bad and not). There is good news over here.. it is very liberating! AnswerI left my N. and I felt so guilty for months. I felt like I was deserting him even though he "needed" me. He was such a miserable and depressed person and I knew that if I let, his life would be 10x worse. I struggled with feeling that way for awhile..then I realized, he wanted me to be MISERABLE so he could be LESS MISERABLE (cuz he has been miserable 24/7 since the day i met him 10 years ago - he's just good at hiding it). It was either die so he could live or the other way around.
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