Why do you still feel anxious and nervous days after dumping an abusive boyfriend?

Answer 1

I had this reaction of shaking and anxiety the first time I actually reacted to abuse in real time and walked out. I think it is kind of an emotional shock to the system since you did something very different and outside of your experience. If it does not go away in a few days, see your doctor. There are some short term prescriptions to relieve this. Do not return to the guy--you did a good thing and you are facing a great future. Honor that. Abusive people are all about controlling the environment around them, and you've become use to that. No matter how hard you may have tried to retain your self confidence, you are still the victim to some degree. The abuser always tries to take your self-worth away and makes you feel extremely insecure. Don't listen to that garbage! You are stronger than you think, and thus far you seem to be doing a very good job. It takes time and you'll get accustomed to your new found freedom. Right now I have no doubt you don't trust too many people ... especially men. That will wear off in time because all men are not bad. I am so proud of you for taking this step and I know more than I can say that it was not easy for you to do so. This even proves more just how strong you are. I was married to a cheater/abusive person, and I managed to gain strength to kick the guy to the curb and move on with my life. Start getting out with your female friends and having a little fun. Be kind to yourself! You feel a little on edge because you are wary of the fact he will come around and start bothering you. If he does, and starts banging on your door .. call the police!! If need be press charges and a "cease & desist" order against him. If he comes within 50 feet of you he'll be clapped in jail. You are also use to being told what to do, think and how to react, but now you only have to listen to yourself! Good going! Keep strong, and know that there are some wonderful guys out there and one day you will find that special person. May I also suggest that you seek out a Women's Center and attend some of their programs. They give you tools to protect yourself as well as helping you in the area of not returning to your abusive partner or finding another type of man who is abusive. You may not think you ever will, but over 90% of women go back to their abuser. Good luck God Bless Marcy