Why does a man get angry when a woman is angry at him?

Answer 1

Often-time because this is when a woman is at her least communicative. She wants the man to apologize but often won't tell him what for. Sometimes even asking what one did wrong can flare her temper. This leads to frustration in the man, which leads to anger.

When a woman appears angry, however, this might actually be her asserting a grievance over something small, not her trying to start a fight. When a woman is angry, she's usually looking for assurance that the situation is fine and isn't threatened by differing opinions.

Men have a tendency to view this quality as a personal attack and feel like they aren't getting respect. The natural response is to defend his personal viewpoint while attacking the other so as to win the argument. This then snowballs into their own personal attacks and even threats when they realize winning respect this way won't work and they get fed-up.

This is when the woman gets alarmed that something between she and the man is horribly wrong, and so, not having the reassurance she was seeking to begin with, and becomes desperate for some gesture of assurance. The man is little likely to give any such sign while he himself is feeling threatened and the woman isn't looking all that welcoming. This is when the screaming starts, and both parties have often forgotten what started the fight.

A good way to keep from becoming angry is to keep eye contact. If you catch your gaze darting, remember to focus on the issue, and to not shut down to avoid the assault. It's not an assault, and even if the man doesn't agree he should show that he acknowledges and values the woman's opinion. Don't feed facts (this is viewed as disrespect), admit when you're wrong (in a mature fashion), remember that the woman being angry is not usually a personal attack, and if it is a big problem...really listen.

This kind of frustration is best cured with open communication between any two people, as has been my experience. Arriving at a calm compromise works better for everyone in most cases. Firstly, find ANYthing in the argument to agree on. ANYthing. Anger defuses quickest when both parties are on the same side. From there, address each issue individually and find a whole solution that both think will work best. But don't be afraid to go back and discuss again if you find it's not working, or else the whole thing starts over!