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Why is he unwilling to just talk or be friends when you say you arent ready for an actual relationship he says it feels like its going nowhere does he just want sex?
Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
Men who take this position already have developed a one-sided "relationship" with (you).
They just cannot admit they are simply head over heels in love/lust
(Man Translation: "weak" or "whipped").
Furthermore "men" do not accept defeat easily.
When the man is ready to take things to another level and the lady is not, this is an indicator of a strong mismatch.
(Translate: It will NEVER work out). This is a very difficult situation for the man…
Unfortunately the man has extremely strong attraction and the woman simply is not interested in him that way.
When it is not reciprocal, spontaneous and timing is matched "it" will never work.
(No matter how hard each person tries).
Relationships must NOT require effort to initiate.
Lord knows there is plenty of effort required over the years through life's tribulations.
Relationships should not have to start out "working" on the relationship.
That is for the "in sickness" and the "for poorer" times...
Men will challenge, cajole and otherwise become "confrontational" when encountering a resistant love-object.
This is a natural male "rejection defense".
Men will "reject" a resistant woman (to avoid being dumped) and thus "save face"...
It is sad that men fail to understand that all a man can do is ask and offer.
It is up to the woman to accept and choose.
The "cave man" mentality is a farce.
It never worked then and will not work now.
However, it is the wise woman who "lets" her chosen man believe that it was he who did the "conquering".
Men need to feel that they achieved the conquest.
NOT that they were "allowed" to participate in a relationship where the woman is actually in control.
(EVEN THOUGH THIS IS USUALLY THE CASE)
Men must provide for women so they can nurture the next generation.
Women instinctively judge a man on his genes and ability to provide good breeding stock and sustenance.
These are primarily the fundamental decision making criteria for women.
Of course, good conversation, similar interests and all the other "fluff" are all quite important.
But I am talking basic instinctive reactions here.
Instinct between men and women has no time for "just friends".
The man must turn his attention away quickly.
He must take his resources to a more willing partner while there is still time.
Man needs time to save face, ego and still retain sufficient resources like money and youth to be a viable candidate.
Then there is the complication presented when other candidate women might encounter previous love objects (competetiton).
Most men are ill-equipped to counter original feelings for a prior object, unless they precipitate a total rejection.
(Translate: Pick a fight or other "deal-killing" argument or confrontation).
This way, the man's new mate will not feel "threatened" when there are chance encounters at the supermarket etcetera...
Remember, most men are absolutely incapable of hiding their instinctive lust reactions.
However they are painfully aware that women are hip to this.
There is simply no other way to deal with rejection effectively and definitively.
Women, on the other hand, are almost always in control of their emotions and the situation.
And therefore do have the capability of being "just friends".
It is completely logical that women are surprised when a "man" cannot comprehend this concept...
Robert
(Married 5 times)
Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
It is possible that he may be looking for a more serious or committed relationship rather than just a friendship or casual connection. He may feel like continuing in a non-romantic relationship would be unfulfilling or not aligned with his own intentions. It is important to communicate openly and honestly with him to clarify his expectations and the underlying reasons for his unwillingness to just be friends.
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