Relationships

Why is your new boyfriend not in contact as much as he was after his mom told you about his past relationships and you told him how you feel about him and later told him you want to take things slow?

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January 09, 2007 1:04PM

Based on your question, the first obvious answer is that your boyfriend clearly only likes taking things fast - whatever that may mean (sex?) The other answer is that he feels you're judging him based on past relationships and this has hurt his ego. To be sure, ask him! Specifically, ask him if you have offended him by making the request to go slow (if he's smart, he'll say no.) Then ask him if he prefers going 'fast'. If anything leads to a "yes" then clearly the first answer is correct. You should respond in whatever way you feel is correct, but a good (there is no right or wrong) answer from him should be to respect what you've told him and what you've asked of him. Dont know what his mother told you but if he had an alteria motive to dating you like just wanting sex or to you use for some other reason then you taking it slow could put a damper on his plans. Why should his mother tell you about his past, he should be being honest with you and tell you himself. Not saying by the third date you should know everything but in time while dating I'd say 6 months you should have known from him. Listen, unfortunately in todays world there are what we call "users, opportunists" they are only looking out for themselves. You sound like a sensible girl. If you are not ready for a serious relationship then dont have one. Take it slow, we gals have what we call female intuition and you should listen to yours. You will find that your feelings will guide you through alot of situations. If if doesnt feel right then it isnt. If your still in school, dont get serious with any one guy, go out play the field, dont use anyone, just have fun and be honest with all of them. Im not saying 10 of them , 3 different guys at once is ok, find guys with interests in common with you, just dont have sex with any of them until you feel that the guy has earned that part of you. We should not and cannot give ourselves to any guy just because they want it. My grandfather once said" variety is the spice of life" and he was right. I am married now for 20 years, but before that while I was 16 to 27 I dated alot of guys, I didnt have sex with all of them but I had lots of fun and was able to see the difference in men that helped me to pick the type of guy I should be with. We are opposites in many ways but where it counts, in heart, brain and compassion we are similiar. Have a good time now because you only have one life to live, just be honest with those around you and good to yourself and you'll smile all the time. Good luck.