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Sounds like the two of you need some serious professional couples counseling. The thing with counseling couples is that it provides a mediator, someone to listen to both sides and make rational, objective, unbiased assessments. A good counselor will help both sides gain understanding into the other's ways. And counseling opens the gates to healthy communication and healing.

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Q: Would it be a Psychological issue if your wife adds abusive words to the words you speak and later recalls and insists that you were Abusive and that you spoke all the words she added?
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