You have so much love to give and who wants it?

Answer 1

my family needs my love so much and they are doing their best to make me happy but I can't even smile for anything they do for me, I even get mad and stope talking to them all.

you know what? Inside me I am not a bad person and I always pray for my family and wished the best for them all.But I hate my father because he is a realy bad ,disrespectful,harmeful,violent husband for my mom and I here him insulting her bad, extrimely bad things in front of us and other people.He always humiliates her so much and told us bad things about her.for his children he is ready to die for us,he is the most strong and good father but still he is always insulting us when he is angry with my mom and bit us,it could be boxing or slaping and I could't forget his bad words.he yales and he shoute and will scare us to dath when we r asleep in the middle of the night. Eventhough I shared somany good things from him, I couldn't forgive him for most of the damages he caused me especially to my personality.

I can't explain anything when people startes to shout or say bad things to me even iff it is not my fault I wouldn't say a word then I will be considerd guilty still no words,u know why? when ever my dad was angry and starts to shout if i try to say any thing he might kik me or will twisste what I was trying to say in to something eals and will still make me fill guilty for thing i never thought about.so thats why i choose to keep my mouth shout still now.But this character is making my phiance realy confused because weather good or bad happens b/n us i will say notinhg about it but still he can read from my face that i felt bad. I hate my dad for this he pushed me so hard to hide my feelings and keep it only for myself. now I have emotions but dont know how to say them.I have no words for my emotions.

I have a problem in beliving my phiance which our weeding is left only with two month. I always fear what if he changes somewhere and become as my father is to my mom. I'm too sensitive for word and I'm very carefull with my words for all the people,I hate my brother because he is just like my dad he is full of bad words those hurt me so much.now anfortunately I took him out of my life and live in the same house as if he never exsists. I hate my family because i cant comunicate with them and they always make me feel guilty for that.

I am a loveable person out side my house and no hard fights as far as I can remember with any of my friends but home always fight.

when we where kidds when my father is angry siting in salon we can't even play loude so I would prefer to play and enjoy out sid the house,I have so many friends and some of them I love them more than my family.

I sometimes have a problem in giving a priority for him rather i give priority to my other friends. If anyone who reades this can anderestand what i am passing through and why i am i abig dipression please help me out.my weeding is in 2 month after now but I can't agree with my own family who loves me so much but I couldn't respond for their love especialy my mom and my little sis.

I feel very lonely and broken inside.It hurts so bad.

please help me