How to Deal With the Office Mean Girl?

Answer 1

Mean girls aren't only in junior high schools – they grow up to become the mean women in the office as well.

According to the Employment Law Alliance, 45 percent of all American workers say they've experienced workplace abuse. And a shocking 40 percent of workplace bullies are women – who pick on other women more than 70 percent of the time.

Like Tina Fey said in “Mean Girls,” that's a whole lot of girl-on-girl hate.

But female bullies are different. Instead of physical violence, they tend to undermine, berate and intimidate weaker people. They can also be perfectionists who make others doubt their own abilities.

Like other bullies, they like to feel powerful, and find that it's easy to pick on some women because they just won't fight back, but will instead try to ignore bad behavior or hide from it.

Bullies just won't make you cry in the bathroom when you think you're alone, though. Bullying can affect your personal and work life, and lead to dangerous health conditions like high blood pressure, insomnia, clinical depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.

The clearest sign that you're being bullied is when it's behavior that happens again and again. It can include yelling, intimidating behavior, or vicious gossip or sabotage. Women bully differently and other women are often more adept at feeling the affects – female bullies are good at making the little digs that add up to undermine your best efforts.

So how can you fight back?

1. Don't cry, get angry or get emotional. That just plays into a bully's hands. Stay calm and rational, even if it's difficult. If you find yourself getting emotional, excuse yourself for a few minutes.

2. Don't take all the blame. It's not your fault someone is bullying you.

3. Do your best work. This takes away a female bully's ability to make fun of how you do a job, a typical target for this kind of woman.

4. Make friends with your coworkers. It's likely this woman has bullied them too. There are strength in numbers.

5. Document everything. Keep a written accounting of what happened when, and who witnessed it, so if the problem needs reported to your human resources department, you'll have your information at hand. Also make sure you keep copies of your e-mails and notes. But don't do this at work, where it can conveniently disappear.

6. Get help. If it doesn't stop, you may need someone in a more powerful place to stop it. But be careful when you complain to Human Resources, especially if the bully is someone higher up in the company.

7. Get counseling. If this person has beaten you down mentally, it may help to talk to someone about getting your self esteem back.

8. Don't think you can change a bully. Because you can't. But you can help ease the stress of being a bully's target.