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Well, there are lots of ways this can be accomplished.

For starters, how big is the animal in question?

If you're trying to smuggle in something small, say the T-virus, then just bite the bullet and infect yourself. Airport security won't even see the virus coursing through your veins, turning you in to either a super soldier or the living dead. (Reaction depends on the individual's unique immune system, results may vary.)

If it's a smaller animal, try passing it off to security as a Pokemon. This works particularly well if you are coming from Japan. A related ploy would be, for example, if you are smuggling in a Koala from Australia, or a Chinchilla From wherever you get those, but are coming from China, you can say they are a mogwai. This is referred to as deflection. Be creative, and you can get away with it.

If your animal is a bit larger, say a jungle cat, say that they are a special breed that you had to travel to that country to buy. Or pass them off as a breed of dog. You may need to shave the Maine off of a male lion if that is what you are smuggling. It is advisable to knock the animal out before doing this, as they get kind of testy when you don't.

If you have a gorilla, try dressing it in an old, frumpy dress, and put a flowery straw hat on it and give it a large purse. You can buy a plane ticket for it, and if they give you any lip about the gorilla you have with you, just say "What a horrible thing to say about my grandmother!!!". This will cause terrible feelings of guilt in the accuser, and they should totally lay off you.

Remember that in the United States it is difficult to keep these things hidden. Please make sure you have a house big enough to contain your smuggled animal. If you live in an apartment, a chinchilla is fine, but a tiger is not. If you are Jay-Z, you can keep a tiger in doors, but a blue whale means you need to spring for a salt water lake out back. Again, use your best judgment.

Also, keep in mind that vampires and werwolves can take human form, earn money, and buy their own plane tickets. If you choose to help them obtain passports illegally, well, that's your business.

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13y ago

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