tell them everyone has it, it worked for me.
no thats called an iphone :)
No the ipod is just an ipod you cannot use it as a phone.
Go to http://www.google.com/talk on safari on your ipod touch. :D Enjoy!
If your parents bought you a nano you should be thankful and grateful. Asking for the "newer and better" iTouch would seem like you are ungrateful for the iPod Nano your parents bought you. Remember, that companies will keep coming out with upgrades and newer modules but that doesn't have to me you have to keep buying them. Be greatful that you have a nano, there are many people who don't have an iPod at all.If you still feel that you really want the iPod Touch then talk to your parents. Maybe make a deal that you will buy the iTouch with your own money if they let you get one.
if you have to talk into it then you cant because an ipod doesnt have a microphone!
iMessage for ios5 or text me which you can buy in the app store
As far as i know you can only talk if you plug in a microphone. I hope that answered your question! 
There are apps that allow you to dial phone numbers
You can talk to him over instagram for iPhone and iPod touch or twitter or Facebook
You can hold the home button and tell it to play a certain song. That's about it.
The iPod Touch doesn't come with call or text features as it is not a phone. However, there are many apps available that allow you to text and call for free using wifi.
Call them up and ask them if they have "seen" your IPod. If you have proof that they have it talk to their parents and if you need to call the police.